Today, I drove a drunk Venezuelan exchange student home after a prom party. Notable events: her puking on the way to the vehicle, her yelling in Spanish at the top of her lungs in the car, her puking out the window in the moving vehicle, and her crying because she felt bad for making me drive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Today, I took my best friend to an '80s party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car, as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML
Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
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Top comments
Ringmaster1 0
She was drunk, what were you expecting?
Aelaena 6
That was nice of you, at least she felt bad.
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Comments (82)
Skooma 0
FYL for not nailing a drunk Latino
1337Steph 0
She isn't in the United States. She is in Canada. Does nobody read anymore?? On 06/20/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by DesDri (man) - Canada (Ontario) Using your eyes does wonders.
n42nate 0
And why is that bad? At least she was sober enough to stick her head out the window first! And if you didn't want to drive her home then just say no!
Emyrs 0
this is not a fyl. this is a "this is what happens when you drive home drunk friends" since i assume youre just getting out of highschool expect MANYMANYMANY more nights just like this... dont complain. youre friends will be there for you when you get stupid drunk.
Phallus_fml 0
I don't get this FML.
watchnlearn 0
at least she didn't puke in your car/on you
juandreschacin 0
OK. heres the deal. Im a venezuelan guy, I don't understand WHY you have to even mention she's Venezuelan!? She is a human being that, like the rest of the world, when she gets drunk she vomits. Seriously. Your making us look bad.
phatdaddy 0
He mentioned she's Venezuelan because in the US and Canada, south american exchange students are considered exotic, and that is a major turn-on. It adds to the disappointment of not being able to hit it.
Prawn_fml 2
How is this an FML? If she puked all over the car insides, I could understand it, but this is just complaining needlessly.
Dogmaw 0
Uuuuhhhhh...you drove a drunk person home....What were you expecting in terms of positive outcomes? All that other stuff was lightweight. Yer lucky she didn't punch you in the face while you were driving. Crazy Venezualan hookers. Consider yourself lucky if a drunk even says "thank you".
DayanY 0
what do u know about venezuelan hookers bro if u dont know then stfu to the OP too bad we venezuelans are highly trained to drink a lot:P sucks for u
Mr_FYLife 0
So No roadhead?