Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out that my mom uses my incredibly expensive conditioner to wash her two dogs every single weekend. No wonder they smell so good. FML
Today, I walked into the living room to find my boyfriend plucking his ball hairs with the same tweezers I use for my eyebrows. FML
Yucky!
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Boundaries
Today, my mom has a habit of trying to pull out what she thinks are loose hairs in my beard. My beard hairs are actually just really, really long, not falling off. She'll confidently yank one that she thinks isn't attached, causing a sharp pain until she realizes it's attached. I don't know how to make her stop. FML
Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML
Contact
Today, I found out my mum has been using my electric shaver for several months to shave her pubes and underarms. FML
Today, in front of my friends, my mom came after me with a pair of tweezers exclaiming, "There's just a couple of hairs on your chin that need to be plucked." I'm a 14 year-old girl. FML
Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML
Pink tax
Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML
Top comments
frankiefan 0
Actually, alcohol will kill most bacteria, so you're wrong. But I agree that it's sick that she's using them in the first place, and going through the trouble of sterilizing them without removing the hair. There's tweezers at Walgreen's for a dollar and they work just fine on my eyebrows... if you're not a caveman, it shouldn't be a big deal to get a new one (at least she wasn't using your hairbrush on the dog and GIVING you ticks).
shannonbabyy13 0
that's gross
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Comments (157)
thenumberblue 0
I feel sorry for you, snickerdoodles. now I understand why your such a bitch on FML... your parents forced you to study and never let you have any fun. :/
jayAZ 3
It happened on House! hahaha Hey OP! assuming you're old enough to pluck something...go buy your own! Quite depending upon your Parents and then bitching about it. You're mother bought them, she can do whatever she chooses. You'll do the same. It's a sad damn fact of life.
shaBAMalex 0
I'm usually annoyed by the comments snickerdoodles makes. On this FML, however, I don't see anything rude about her posts. You guys need to stop being internet tough guys and leave her alone :P Also, I was reading books at the age of 6 as well that were NOT Barney or Dora. Whoop dee doo.
blackyweather 0
if u dont like dog hair dont get a ******* dog
ChairForce 0
Obviously none of you know anything about plucking hairs. If you use your tweezers for anything else you'll ruin them and they'll never be as good for plucking hair. If they are "her" tweezers her mother should use different ones to keep from ruining them. If they're her mother's tweezers, she should go get her own for her eyebrows and probably write the word eyebrows on them.
truthisRelative 0
This is apparently the thanks you get for being helpful and intelligent. FYL, snick. Also, why is it so hard to imagine a six year old reading proficiently. I was reading to myself at that age too whilst my classmates were still struggling to do so—reading aloud in unison, which, for the record, I found highly distracting. You only think this way because our culture becomes ever more saturated by media in turn causing each passing generation to turn a blind eye to the book.
42billybob 5
there's a whole lot of things i feel need to be said here... but i'm just going to say this: you don't need your tools to be sterile when plucking hairs. your skin has plenty of bacteria and shit all over it already.
fisher50 0
@snickerdoodles. go save the ******* world from the yokopatamians Jimmy Neutron
youthink_fml 0
1. Alcohol does sterilize it. Why do you think it's used in hospitals. 2. You don't remove ticks with a lighted match or any liquids. It only makes the tick puke whatever under your skin.
Stinatown 3
@snickerdoodles I was originally enjoying your ability to dispense knowledge and snark simultaneously, but as this conversation has progressed, I've become disenchanted. I too began reading early and voraciously, and I too found informational books (almanacs, atlases, encyclopedia volumes, trivia books, home remedy books, what have you) interesting at a young age. I agree with your implication that the burgeoning interests of a child are sometimes underestimated. But it seems that your love of information has lead to a superiority complex, not a desire to share this information with others. I think this is clear from your assertion that you favor information from a book published at least ten years ago over a much more vast and constantly-updated resource such the Internet. (Seriously, why hate on Google?) I do doubt that you were reading comprehensively at 18 months, but even if you were, it does not make you better than anyone else and does not make you a more reliable resource (neither does an aversion to Barney or Disney, FYI). I think it is your addition of these details--not helpful advice or opinion--that makes you unlikeable in the FML universe.