Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out that my mom uses my incredibly expensive conditioner to wash her two dogs every single weekend. No wonder they smell so good. FML
Today, I walked into the living room to find my boyfriend plucking his ball hairs with the same tweezers I use for my eyebrows. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, my mom has a habit of trying to pull out what she thinks are loose hairs in my beard. My beard hairs are actually just really, really long, not falling off. She'll confidently yank one that she thinks isn't attached, causing a sharp pain until she realizes it's attached. I don't know how to make her stop. FML
Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML
Today, I found out my mum has been using my electric shaver for several months to shave her pubes and underarms. FML
Today, in front of my friends, my mom came after me with a pair of tweezers exclaiming, "There's just a couple of hairs on your chin that need to be plucked." I'm a 14 year-old girl. FML
Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML
Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
frankiefan 0
Actually, alcohol will kill most bacteria, so you're wrong. But I agree that it's sick that she's using them in the first place, and going through the trouble of sterilizing them without removing the hair. There's tweezers at Walgreen's for a dollar and they work just fine on my eyebrows... if you're not a caveman, it shouldn't be a big deal to get a new one (at least she wasn't using your hairbrush on the dog and GIVING you ticks).
shannonbabyy13 0
that's gross
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (157)
Stinatown 3
Keep it together, OP. I know being 13 is tough, but... it's dog hair. Not exactly a situation where I'd feel as though my life is f*cked.
truthisRelative 0
This is, again, another testament of our media saturated culture. The term "Internet resource" is quite the oxymoron indeed unless, of course, you're Internet resources come from online accredited peer-reviewed journal. A ten year old book is indeed more reliable than many so-called Internet resources. Especially if it's an encyclopedia or other educational book.
floobl11121 0
woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwww how is this f your life this is a joke
_get_over_it_ 0
That is not how tick transmission works-- looks like your dad's home remedies book was full of fail.
rlm2112 0
I used to just think she was a typical "know it all" teenager. It's now obvious she is autistic or has asperger's. So now I feel kinda bad for her. She's still hot though.
Stinatown 3
@truthisRelative "Internet resource" is not an oxymoron. A resource is any work that provides accurate information to fulfill a need. It is up to the user to determine if a source is appropriate for his/her needs. If I want to know what time a movie is playing at my local theater, a peer-reviewed journal is not going to provide helpful information, but fandango.com will (and therefore is a reliable and acceptable resource for my needs). Similarly, I would not cite Wikipedia in a college thesis, as it is not a reliable resource for scholarly works. In this case, the Center for Disease Control website contradicts the resource Snickerdoodles cited. I will use my judgement to say that in this case, a published book is not more reliable than an Internet source. (Funny you should mention the encyclopedia-- In December 2005, the scientific journal Nature found there was very little difference in the error rate between Wikipedia and the Encyclopedia Britannica. Just saying.)
ReaganSmiles 0
your dog shouldnt have ticks in the first place!!
buggybeauty 0
YDI. someone should call the ASPCA on you for letting your dog get infested with ticks! that's neglectful! buy some advantix for goodness sake.
worthbeads 0
I'm completely outraged by your comment. There is no 100 percent prevention for ticks. I live in the country, and my dogs get ticks periodically despite the fact that we apply tick repelent
worthbeads 0
I'm outraged by your comment. There is no 100 percent sure-fire way to prevent ticks. I live out in the country and my dogs get ticks periodically despite the fact that I regularly apply tick repellent to the dogs. By your logic, if a child were to, by chance, catch lice at school then the child is to be taken away from its parents. Think before you type, because that comment was garbage.
buggybeauty 0
you shouldn't be allowed to own a dog
Fminetoo 0
Dogs roll in the mud, they are going to get ticks no matter what you do on occasion.