Health: Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils...

By utensils123 - 09/02/2010 06:40 - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 342

You deserved it 2 318

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 456

You deserved it 4 674

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 430

You deserved it 28 100

Weird dude of the day

By Anonymous - 30/06/2017 02:00

Today, I caught my 29 year-old brother-in-law scratching his poison ivy with a handful of forks before putting them back in the drawer. I called him on it and he huffed, "You've never said anything before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 904

You deserved it 337

By Waitingtomoveout - 12/01/2017 17:09

Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 407

You deserved it 763

By oh for f*cks sake - 20/03/2017 12:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 819

You deserved it 410

By who wants spaghetti - 17/12/2015 03:42 - United States - Oconomowoc

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 876

You deserved it 1 554

By smells like ass - 29/12/2016 03:05

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 037

You deserved it 415

Sharing is caring

By Eddie - 07/03/2021 23:00

Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 118

By Picky - 06/07/2017 14:58

Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 060

You deserved it 369

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 127

You deserved it 330

blaaaaakely 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 12:02

crabs for dinner

thrice324 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 12:03

Use his toothbrush as a *****.

Comments

kingwaldo 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 22:50

sorry bro. u don't have to tell every1 tho

Kylewillger 1

Wednesday 10 February 2010 0:26

I use to do the same thing, but when I was done, I would put it in the dish washer.

limyechan 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:14

ok just had a mini barf in my mouth.. that's disgusing!!

danielle8D 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 7:51

ur not alone with the mini barf!

themilkman13 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:52

that's groty

orangesodaftw 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 3:41

I wonder if it made the next thing that was made using said utensils taste nutty.

44444gggg 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 3:50

No wonder the spoon taste a lit strange this morning.....

latesharocks865 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 4:18

wash that shit!

SirRender 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 4:23

"Today, I was scratching my nuts with a knife when my sister walked in and scared me now im in the hospital without my best friend. FML"

WillyOrtiz 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 4:26

hahaha thats how you do it

Jman1906 2

Wednesday 10 February 2010 5:29

UUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!! UK UK UK!!!! OH HOLY SHIT THATS DIGUSTING!!!!

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The Top

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2 169

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 340

The Top

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 129

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 605

You deserved it 12 209

Today, I tried to manscape with some Nair. Nothing helps the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 687

You deserved it 10 219

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 197

You deserved it 4 068

Today, I spent thirty minutes ringing up a Guinea pig and supplies for a customer who talked like a sloth, all while she argued with over the price of everything, only for her to return it all five minutes later because her sister had "changed her mind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 833

You deserved it 118

Today, I had a nightmare where I was drowning in the ocean. Was it because I'm unable to swim in real life? Good guess, but no. It was actually because I forgot to close my bedroom door in real life, and my very fluffy cat entered and decided to lie down on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 161

Same thing different taste

Weird dude of the day

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Classy.

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