Work: Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so...

By RavingLunatic - United States - Gilbert

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21217

You deserved it

24669

Favorite

Work

Serious times

No one likes a smart-ass

Time don't heal nothing

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37099

You deserved it

8705

Favorite

By Ksweety_fml

He does have a point

Today, I texted someone and typed, "lol". My boyfriend asked me why I put "lol". I told him because I thought it was funny. He looked at me weird and said, "But you didn't laugh." Now he thinks I'm weird because I didn't actually laugh out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1191

You deserved it

434

Favorite

By Snow-White - United Kingdom - Wilmslow

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45576

You deserved it

19046

Favorite

By Vercsi - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, my attention-seeking, insanely thick co-worker explained that due to her new diet she can't eat bread. She "can eat pizza" though. When we pointed out that they’re pretty much made of the same ingredients, she wouldn’t believe us. I sit right behind this idiot every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33151

You deserved it

2727

Favorite

By cereal mom

Today, I found out that my ex let my son eat nothing but cereal and milk for every single meal during his five-day visit. Now my son shrieks, cries, and has a meltdown if I try to make him eat real food. My ex merely replied, "Your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

3894

You deserved it

403

Favorite

By gottaflossmoreoften - Romania - Bucharest

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30486

You deserved it

5729

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63475

You deserved it

4282

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Westfield

Today, I went to my father's house to get my dog, since I had left it with him while I was on a business trip. When I got there, my dad said the dog pooped on the floor a few days ago, and so he took him to the pound. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15964

You deserved it

976

Favorite

By maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33775

You deserved it

5373

Favorite

By Lost - United States

Today, I got rejected for approximately the tenth credit card I've applied for, I called a bank to find out why. Apparently I took out a car loan in 2004 and bought a house in 2006. I was 13 in 2004. The credit report does not have any records of this. Thank you identity theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52437

You deserved it

2593

Favorite

By StrawHatBill - United States

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32190

You deserved it

8336

Favorite

By shallowvomit1013 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22893

You deserved it

5355

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27570

You deserved it

3752

Favorite

By bedrockmike - United States

Today, I broke, shoveled, and salted the ice covering my entire driveway. The size is roughly 8 cars' worth, and took me two hours of back-breaking effot to clear. I completely forgot that it was supposed to rain later today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10541

You deserved it

19411

Favorite

By fuckit - United States

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29163

You deserved it

5566

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Temecula

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27684

You deserved it

6039

Favorite

By Anonymous

WTF?

Today, I went to my fiancé's mother's funeral. His step-sister proudly announced that she's pregnant with his baby and they are engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5955

You deserved it

303

Favorite

By RinoaHeartilly

Today, like every day she works, my roommate once again put on a ton on perfume before work because she doesn't shower. She's gone, but this smell will be here for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2471

You deserved it

235

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33091

You deserved it

2601

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30143

You deserved it

10849

Favorite

By animal lover...

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47778

You deserved it

4025

Favorite

By Notyourstepmom - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59329

You deserved it

4448

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years, who is a fabulous guitarist and singer, told me he wrote me a song. I was so excited. Turns out it was a break up song. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64752

You deserved it

4188

Favorite

By Anonymous

Sad sad sad

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

28482

You deserved it

7688

Favorite

By apparentlytoofat - 26/4/2020 05:00

Superficial World

Today, my husband said he thinks of me as more of a roommate than a romantic interest, and he’s wouldn't be that attracted to me unless I lose another 20 pounds. I was just celebrating that I’d lost 5 pounds already in April. Stress makes it harder to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2152

You deserved it

285

Favorite

By FUCK A FUCKING DUCK - Bahamas - Nassau

Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28947

You deserved it

2827

Favorite

By Anonymous - Vietnam

Today, I'm on holiday in Vietnam, and was wearing a new shirt. In a restaurant, the waitress pointed at my shirt and said something I couldn't understand, so I just smiled and nodded my head. She then gave me a weird look and walked away. Turns out there was a huge spider on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28244

You deserved it

4856

Favorite

By depressed - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40148

You deserved it

3053

Favorite

By FrustratedTutor - United States - Andover

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that "pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36690

You deserved it

2810

Favorite

By whymomwhy - United States - Salem

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27256

You deserved it

2866

Favorite

By Ford

Today, a child that was born due to my donation to a sperm bank in 1995 contacted me. My current wife, who I met in 2003, is convinced I cheated on her and is filing for a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5556

You deserved it

512

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Katy

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56647

You deserved it

22985

Favorite

By chloe_zjk - France

Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35614

You deserved it

12149

Favorite

By asdfghjkl_12 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58583

You deserved it

6654

Favorite

By horselover7766 - United States - Sewell

Today, my brother and I were shoveling mulch. He pushed me in and then ran away, laughing hysterically. I was stuck in the mulch, and no one would help. I was literally in deep shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24385

You deserved it

2678

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out why my boyfriend of over a year is so obsessed with cleaning his entire place before I come over. He's been hiding the ex girlfriend that never moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34303

You deserved it

2866

Favorite

By Ellie - United States

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24836

You deserved it

2955

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Baxter

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39169

You deserved it

7573

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3775

You deserved it

444

Favorite

By raebelle - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36553

You deserved it

10732

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By rhcpgurl | 18

#6279570 - Saturday 2 May 2015 14:42

And you thought screaming obscenities at the top of your lungs wouldn't scare and catch the attention of people within earshot of you?

By Cads1 | 24

#6279557 - Saturday 2 May 2015 14:37

As does punching stupid people. However, that also involves the police.

COMMENTS

By tac0609 | 13

#6279553 - Saturday 2 May 2015 14:36

Punching inanimate objects usually helps me blow off steam.

Roskie | 16

#6279809 - Saturday 2 May 2015 20:13

Tip: go outside and throw ice cubes at the ground as hard as you can. You get the satisfaction of breaking something without causing any real damage or creating a mess to clean up.

lolalove24_fml | 14

#6279821 - Saturday 2 May 2015 20:31

that's quite genius

JICor | 7

#6279835 - Saturday 2 May 2015 21:07

I'm not even worried about how good #38 idea was I just love his profile picture

buttcramp | 21

#6279908 - Saturday 2 May 2015 23:46

36, thats an awesome idea! OP, i like that you did this because it's a good way to blow off steam but not at work lol

IAmReptarrrr | 6

#6281192 - Monday 4 May 2015 8:18

#36 that sounds like a great idea, except op lives in Arizona. chances are the ice cubes would melt before they hit the ground. depending on what part of Az they live. I live in Mesa, and I can tell you they don't last long outside at all.