Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML
Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
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Top comments
The_Big_Boss 20
Wanking the gibbon...?
FMLkaiiden 8
Lmao, that sucks. All over that sucks, didn't finish, in pain, and embarrassed. Sorry to hear bro.
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Comments (128)
yenidewi 11
hahaahahahhahahhahaaha ... that's how **** made u feel happy ... lolz
MikeMufasa 1
That escalated quickly!
gregkingsley 4
I'm sure ur dad understands that you and Rosie Palmer have a relationship.
lhamil64_fml 5
Be lucky it was your dad and not your mom. I'm sure your dad has masturbated too.
Discombobulated9 12
And his mom hasn't?
mdmenchaca 5
Damn bro I've had that cramp before when I was doing the dirty, glad to know I'm not the only one
off_constantly 8
I seriously can't believe this fml got published...
sugarlover1998 7
"wanking the gibbon".....
karen1991 15
So did he give u tips about this problem? Lol
noisebox 1
Not good but it have been worse if your mother came in instead. PS: I am going to include your story in my new book entitled:Unhappy Wacker Stories...
Ninja3131 0
Haha your dad probly was like wtf??