Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML
Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
Today, I was working in the yard and took off my shirt. My neighbor yelled, "Nice tits!" I'm a dude. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
toby02050 0
how would you not know people were working on your roof?
mrhahn530 0
You need any more roof work done? I'll work for free ;-).
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (192)
skoaljuice 0
ok how the **** did you not hear them working on the roof but you heard a phone ring....your a dumb bitch
squintgotflow 0
This is obviously the fakest FML in the history of FML lies. In my experience, when ppl work on your roof, they r pretty loud. So how did you not hear them? You're an idiot. You deserve to get slapped.
Topguy 0
Blonde moment...
aaaaa12345_fml 0
do you have down syndrome?
gummibehrs 4
That's what you get for being an idiot and laying out topless while men are working on your roof. Obviously you must've just wanted the attention.
williamburrows2 0
You're a liar. If they were on YOUR roof, it's because YOU hired them. If you rent, or whatever, and you didn't hire them, you're still a liar. Everyone in the neighborhood can hear when their neighbor is getting there roof done. Hammering all day long, and you didn't know? Bull.
metalfan333 0
hahahahaahahahahahaha oh this story made my day!
confusey 2
you did this with the knowledge of ppl on your roof, ydi
chrisamagod 0
ya i thought i read it wrong and it was your neighbors room but no it was yours just saying not the sharpest tool in the shed but hey could of been worse.
califormula 0
how did they get your number?