Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Wow... that takes skill, my friend. That, or you've got some dangerous ******* spoons in your kitchen. At least you discovered that before it got to your mouth, right?
laughing_zebra 0
Seriously... A spoon?
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Comments (227)
deadlyriot101 7
Bitch please, my friend cut herself with a strawberry.
psychobob 0
Was there a prize?
dolphins_penny 5
I cut myself on a seatbelt so I know how complicated it is to hurt u with things that are suppose to be safe
Historic 2
I........dislocated my knee nearly so bad i almost had to have a surgury............ what happened i was masterbating and sliped
Jbhair21 5
Well at least you'll survive in prison xD
Incognito23 15
... How.. ?
Jasonperez 9
whoa haha xD FYL
Yolandababy2 14
I'm just trying to figure out how you cut yourself with a spoon......?
JamieLT 22
That is so unprofessional
lovelylady2016 6
My family has a joke: don't use a knife, stab 'em with a spoon, it hurts more. My sis is responsible for that one.