Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who...

By . - 16/10/2013 21:05 - United States

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

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Money

Or he's just becoming an old goober

Live dumping

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 18/11/2012 12:13 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML

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By amiliaroberts123 - 15/10/2012 00:45 - United States - Raphine

Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML

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By harrington61 - 19/5/2013 21:27 - United States - Midland

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

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By LadySteph12 - 29/10/2009 00:53 - Canada

Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML

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By ToddlersWife - 15/6/2014 11:10 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

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By NeoDepressed - 31/3/2019 12:00 - Czech Republic

Today my parents screamed at me for cutting my wrists. They asked me if i want a therapist. I said idk. Then my mom said "But wait its going to cost a lot of money".. FML

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By theleague - 9/10/2010 04:15 - United States

Today, when I arrived at the airport for my international flight there was no record of my ticket in the system. Turns out the flight was yesterday. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/11/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

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By wetbutt - 6/3/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/10/2015 18:02 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

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By wtf - 17/12/2012 19:38 - United States

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

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By TooShort - 3/5/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/9/2015 21:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss called me to say that I've been slow at work this week and that I will be replaced if I don't pick up the pace. That would be understandable, if I didn't have a broken ankle and pneumonia. FML

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By The Fishing Pole - 15/6/2017 18:00

So, are you in or are you out?

Today, I told my long time crush, "I love you," in an elaborate way. She replied, "What an interesting perspective." FML

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By Mandy - 20/5/2011 04:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my grandfather, who is a retired Marine, has paid real money to buy ALL the Lady Gaga themed items for his farm in FarmVille. I don't know what's worse, that he did it, or that I'm jealous of not having that stuff. FML

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By Amy - 6/3/2020 07:00

Adapt, overcome, improvise

Today, I was squeezed through an overly-crowded hallway down to my psychologist's. There, I sat in an overly-crowded waiting room to see him, next to an obese woman and an insane man. I finally entered the smaller-than-a-closet room. My reason for seeing a psychologist? Claustrophobia. FML

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By ilovemom - 21/1/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/5/2020 08:00

Evil will always win

Today, I tried to suspend a junior accountant for turning up to work late and stoned 3 separate times. Turns out his uncle is a part owner of the business, so the accountant got to smile his smug little grin as I got yelled at for not minding my own business. FML

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By JPlays - 13/9/2016 03:31 - United States - Henderson

Today, after days of working with a client on plans for a project, I received a message half way through completion saying the deal was off because "my prices were so low it seemed like a scam". FML

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By baconlady - 31/8/2012 07:06 - United States

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

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By testom - 17/4/2015 18:15 - Netherlands - Rotterdam

Today, my husband accidentally erased some pictures from our hard drive. No worries, nothing major: just everything from our wedding and the birth of our first child. FML

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By jnp414 - 29/5/2016 01:11 - United States - Bristol

Today, my house key jammed inside the lock, which would've been annoying even if I hadn't been desperately running from my neighbor's psycho pitbull at the time. FML

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By AmericanDream - 1/12/2011 05:41 - United States

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

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By banana12321 - 2/4/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

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By albert - 13/5/2009 12:36 - United Kingdom

Today, we were running late for school so my mum shouted at me to hurry up and get in the car. I put my school bags in the boot of the car and my mum drove off. It wasn't until she got to my school and told me to get out that she realised I wasn't there. FML

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By itsover - 11/12/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

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By torkx3 - 21/7/2009 20:22 - United States

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

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By Stunned - 4/2/2013 09:15 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

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By MomStayOutOfTheCar - 4/8/2015 04:23 - United States

Today, I got a ticket for "suspicious driving" because my total shit of a mother kept tugging on the wheel to annoy me, and I still had to pay it. FML

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By s - 9/12/2016 02:38

Today, I parked in a "Disabled" space. A woman and her kids comes yelling at me about how I don't look disabled and I was just being selfish. I roll my pants up to reveal two prosthetic legs. She then yells at me that I should have warned her before showing my legs since it could scare her kids. FML

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By PCJJacket - 5/5/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

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By WhyGod - 10/12/2016 15:21

Today, I got a diaper rash from a pad. FML

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By JillianJuneBug - 4/2/2017 00:00 - United States - Elmira

Today, I was listening to music on my phone. I activated Siri by mistake, which stopped the music. I told Siri to, "turn the damn music back on." She replied, "Now calling Afton." Afton is my ex. While trying to quickly end the call, my phone froze and the buttons stopped working. FML

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By Distracted - 13/8/2009 12:18 - United States

Today, it was my first day at a new school. I pulled into the parking lot and saw this really cute guy. I was checking him out in my rear view mirror. When I looked ahead, there was something in the road, so I swirved real hard and took down an entire wooden fence. That something was a plastic bag. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/8/2015 09:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML

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By wormsmeat - 17/9/2015 21:08 - Canada - Kingston

Today, my dog vomited a writhing mass of maggots. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled, and I was baffled as to where she found a maggot infested dead thing to eat. Baffled, until my mom reminded me that my cat has been missing, presumed dead, for over a week. FML

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By Firepussy911 - 14/6/2018 06:22

Today, my husband decided to literally spice things up. He put a "small amount" of hot-sauce in our lubricant without telling me. He thought 1,000,000 Scoville units would make me cum. The only one who came was the paramedic. FML

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By taylortotscx - 27/5/2012 17:15 - United States - Ocala

Today, I went to Busch Gardens. Trying to cool off, I got on a ride that soaked me to the bone. For the rest of the time I was there, my bra was visible through my clothes, along with the "Hell Yeah" printed on my underwear. FML

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By DebtedToSociety - 7/6/2009 17:54 - United States

Today, I was watching a TV show about people with shopping addictions. One girl was $15,000 in debt and I thought how horrible it would be to live with that. Then I realized that I'm in medical school and currently $135,000 in debt. At least they have something to show for their debt. FML

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Top comments

By Mauskau | 35

#5719415 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:14

Unless you actually have Mexican relatives, why would he believe it in the first place? Common sense seems to go out the window when someone says, "give me money I need surgery"

By annoyedchild | 17

#5719429 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:24

You gave him jaun thousand dollars?

Comments

By Mauskau | 35

#5719415 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:14

Unless you actually have Mexican relatives, why would he believe it in the first place? Common sense seems to go out the window when someone says, "give me money I need surgery"

soccerstar1996 | 18

#5719608 - Thursday 17 October 2013 13:04

This has to be one of the sketchiest FMLs I've ever read

JMichael | 25

#5719637 - Thursday 17 October 2013 13:38

Common sense goes out the window with just about everything these days.

\ | 28

#5719818 - Thursday 17 October 2013 17:11

In China a few years back, people were caught up in scams where someone would just say "Hi, it's Me. Send money!"

NoMore_CoolNames | 14

#5720829 - Friday 18 October 2013 11:07

43- I see exactly what you did there.

By jensen21 | 19

#5719416 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:14

Did he not know he didn't have a relative named Juanito in Mexico?

ThatFancyPenn | 18

#5719804 - Thursday 17 October 2013 17:02

Obviously not if you'd read the FML.

By hollyanne27 | 9

#5719420 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:18

At least his heart was in the right place. But that's still pretty unfortunate. Better luck next time!

By Dodgydaly | 11

#5719428 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:24

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

deathtothepix | 26

#5719449 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:39

Well done you look like an idiot, if not a bigger one than OPs dad.

AnOriginalName | 19

#5719460 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:49

#4, that comment has such horrible grammar that no Juan knows what you were trying to say.

Schiffy | 18

#5719609 - Thursday 17 October 2013 13:06

No no, a Mexican's favorite sport is golf. That way you can get a whole in Juan.

By annoyedchild | 17

#5719429 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:24

You gave him jaun thousand dollars?

Liamj774 | 36

#5719599 - Thursday 17 October 2013 12:54

OP Tried to save the money but Juanito took Jamal

TheTacoMan | 24

#5719668 - Thursday 17 October 2013 14:27

No Pun intended is a pun on "Unintended" *Brain Explodes*

By girlrome | 19

#5719431 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:25

How come you turned out smart?

annie_nk | 22

#5719478 - Thursday 17 October 2013 10:13

The mom ;)

Zimmington | 21

#5720522 - Friday 18 October 2013 5:23

The family dog

Venister | 11

#6415508 - Monday 21 September 2015 6:33

By revidffum69 | 22

#5719432 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:25

What's your address? I need emergency surgery in Mexico too.

By j_cat187 | 19

#5719434 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:26

It is amazing that someone so gullible can function in society.

By Grand_Cookie | 21

#5719436 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:27

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Ari1337 | 15

#5720504 - Friday 18 October 2013 5:10

no.

By abhi95 | 31

#5719440 - Thursday 17 October 2013 9:28

Your dad's email if you don't mind?

awsamb | 8

#5722257 - Saturday 19 October 2013 15:35

gold