Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML
Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get my lunch for work. I quickly opened my fridge to grab it, and accidentally knocked over a beer, spilling a little on my pants. I told myself I'd spray them in the car. I forgot, and when I got into work, someone sat down and commented that they smelled beer. The person was a student. FML
Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said, "Did you have fun at the party?" I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied, "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left." FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
roflcopterlmao 0
Couldn't you have just made up some excuse about how you read that spicy mustard is good for your skin and you wanted to try it? Even if you're a guy - it would still keep you out of trouble. Just act embarrassed that they caught you and apologize. YDI. (P.S. Busted and Mustard don't rhyme, if that's what you were trying to do. D;)
coopcas 0
You deserved it for not inviting all of us, you little bitch.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
doof_fisch 2
Did they find the grey poupon in the toilet?
indu54 0
lol hahaha this person is popular due to turtles :P
FoundManyLemons 0
YDI for trying to live a bad teen movie.
speedmastaflex 0
You must have ver suspicious parents if they immediately concluded that you had a party just after seeing the mustard out of place
Brey1013 0
+ 1500 cool points for a out of control party dude
doicha27 0
HA! Ain't that a bitch? I'm ketchup mothafucka, mustard! ZAP yo dumbass!
IndigoKitty 3
lmao, something similar happened to me. me and my ex had a barbeque and a booze up while his rents where away and then tidied absolutely everything up. when they got back, his dad took one look at the garden and said "that barbeque has moved slightly..you had a party!" we were to gobsmacked to come back with a quick excuse XD
Rydizzle 0
hahahahahahah thats ******* hillarious!!! I'm just picturing someone eating like a corndog or something, and squirting mustarf while taking a shower. at my last place I had, we would drink beer in the shower, cause we would drink beer constantly, and sometimes people would leave their cans in there. but not Mustard.
happy_me 0
you just should have told them you were craving a hotdog and needed a shower, and decided to save some time. and then advised them to do the same
jmeg_fml 0
lol, i'm with everyone who said you shoulda made up an excuse. mustard is good for your hair, or something. work those lying muscles.