Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML
Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get my lunch for work. I quickly opened my fridge to grab it, and accidentally knocked over a beer, spilling a little on my pants. I told myself I'd spray them in the car. I forgot, and when I got into work, someone sat down and commented that they smelled beer. The person was a student. FML
Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said, "Did you have fun at the party?" I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied, "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left." FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML
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Top comments
roflcopterlmao 0
Couldn't you have just made up some excuse about how you read that spicy mustard is good for your skin and you wanted to try it? Even if you're a guy - it would still keep you out of trouble. Just act embarrassed that they caught you and apologize. YDI. (P.S. Busted and Mustard don't rhyme, if that's what you were trying to do. D;)
coopcas 0
You deserved it for not inviting all of us, you little bitch.
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Comments (75)
icertainlysuck 0
i love Jackass, but these guys suck at moderating!
ithedarkknight 0
wow you got busted because you suck at lying. Look how easy it is. Jim what is this bottle of hot and spicy mustard doing in the shower? Oh yea forgot to put that back when i was eating my sandwich on the toilet. WTF? thats gross... then they will probably get that image in there head and totally think something different then a party.
arienh4 0
Shower mustard proves you had a party... how?
DrAwesome 6
That's what I'M trying to figure out! I mean, if my parents saw mustard in the shower, they would probably just laugh and tell me to put it back in the fridge.
youretoopicky 0
you could have said you wanted to enjoy a sandwich while enjoying a bubble bath and you left it there. But you deserve getting busted. How would you not feel bad doing something that you know they wouldnt want you to do ?
falling_over 0
Easy. Various items in the kitchen are good for hair and skin. Tell you a friend (if you're male) or cosmogirl magazine (if your female) told you that Mustard is a better anti-acne exfoliant than and store bought product, and you wanted to see if she was right. Its not unlikely. Peanut butter and mayo are good for your hair, milk is good for burns, and eggs( uncooked) are good for dry skin. They might think you are a little odd, but it sounds more likely than you had a part y and the mustard ended up in the bathroom. You can even say you waited till they weren't there to do it so they wouldn't think you were weird wandering 20 minutes with mustard on your face.
Dragonmouth 4
Obviously, the OP just wanted a nice bath and a hot dog.
mrl_fml 0
I agree with number 44. He should've just said it was a midnight snack.
somethingawesome 9
damn mustard. always getting people into trouble.
RaizenSama 0
This FML was posted like, 6 months ago. I swear to god I've seen this in the FML Archives.
DinosAndAliens22 18
"but mom, the spicy-ness gets rid of acne" any way you play it, fail.