Health: Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency...

By Kayla - 06/03/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 839

You deserved it 8 570

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Same thing different taste

By cay - 30/01/2013 19:59 - United States - Holley

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 309

You deserved it 3 239

By foxyreegan - 04/02/2012 05:22 - United States

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 914

You deserved it 3 417

Nervous Nelly

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 128

Little tease

By pickles! - 03/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was at a friend's house teasing her with a pickle. She hates them so I thought it would be funny to pretend to deep throat it. Her dad came in and startled me so bad, I inhaled it. She had to call 911 while he performed the Heimlich maneuver. I’m no longer welcome back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 1 278

By Hellohaileyexoh - 27/08/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 136

You deserved it 5 909

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 083

You deserved it 40 020

By GogurtBadass - 18/09/2013 16:55 - United States - Olympia

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 656

You deserved it 5 362

By Noname - 13/03/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 597

You deserved it 68 697

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 16/03/2011 12:53 - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 185

You deserved it 3 947

By swaiteATC - 28/07/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 314

You deserved it 2 654

YdoIhaveAchode 4

Tuesday 6 March 2012 8:51

That doctor is smooth like Keith stone.

TheOnlyAlan 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 8:52

I'm in med school... I can't wait to use this some day.

Comments

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Tuesday 6 March 2012 21:40

"Oh, I'm a gummy bear. Gummy bear! ... AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

angelofshadows 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 21:42

**** you that was funny

twaumat 28

Tuesday 6 March 2012 21:42

doctors and their cruel humor...lol

nessagurl 2

Tuesday 6 March 2012 22:16

This reminds me of my fav. Book ghost girl.. She died while choking on a gummy bear...

ilovefmlcvsbg 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 22:34

Asshole doctor

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 6 March 2012 22:49

Probably. :)

husky22 0

Wednesday 7 March 2012 0:08

he's a "beary" amusing doctor

kaldarvonlupo 5

Wednesday 7 March 2012 0:24

Was it unbearable?

Cruewhore 5

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:12

Wish my doctor had a sense of humor..

ankoku 2

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:22

I woulda been like.. "Gummy outta here!"

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Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 551

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 339

You deserved it 15 971

The Top

Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 917

You deserved it 6 755

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 178

You deserved it 3 060

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 251

You deserved it 46 552

Today, I decided to take a relaxing bubble bath in my jacuzzi. I poured in the bubbles, turned on the jets, and got in. I realized too late that the jets had caused the bubbles to overflow and had made a huge mess in my bathroom. Relaxing, indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 130

You deserved it 1 894

Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 796

You deserved it 3 144

Today, my mom friended all my friends on Facebook then thought it'd be a good idea to try and act like a teen so she'd be considered 'cool'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 180

You deserved it 2 821

Same thing different taste

Nervous Nelly

Little tease

Thanks…

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