Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I did laundry for the first time in weeks. Feeling productive, I dumped everything in, including what I thought was my pile of towels. Turns out, I washed (and shrunk) my roommate’s $200 wool sweater. She found out when I proudly showed her how “clean” everything looked. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML
Today, I went to gather the laundry out of the dryer. My daughter had seen my wife put bleach in the washer, so she decided that honey in the dryer would make the clothes smell sweet. She wasn't wrong, but now I have a giant ball of sticky socks and underwear. FML
Today, I was folding the laundry. At one point, I had to take a moment to figure out whether a pair of underwear was mine or my mothers. I'm 18. She is 56. Enough said. FML
Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML
Today, when I visited my daughter's apartment that she moved into about 3 months ago, I found out that she buys new underwear every time she runs out instead of washing her dirty ones. Her dirty ones have their own special hamper. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat for the first time. I fit all of my clothes into two washers. Not knowing where to put the soap in, I asked a man doing his laundry, "Excuse me, where do I put the soap in?". He replied, "Ma'am, those are the dryers." FML
Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry… The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML
Today, my daughter used my towel. She thought that because it was clean, it would be okay. She’s 27. FML
Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML
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Top comments
mojopin 12
MLK didn't die for this
slimilicious 20
She'll regret it when her laundry comes out ****** up though
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Comments (73)
the_rad_brad47 18
Let her find out the hard way
wfacsc 13
It's a win-win situation. If her clothes come out white and black then no harm done. If her clothes come out grey then no need to waste time seperating in the future.
TheBelt 19
It was a lie this whole time MLK actually died for clothes segregation. I need to have a word with my teacher.
chucksfriday 21
At least she's got half the right attitude
kjlancaster 21
Never have I heard such relatable words... #sorrynotsorry
TisAPenguin 16
I'm 23 and do all my laundry at once. Nothing bad has happened.
JKPwnage 27
She must be from Tumblr
Nish007 15
she's going to end up with 50 shades of grey
CyberGothic 16
How proud you must be that her laundry will turn out as a tribute to Fifty Shades of Gray.
protoskore 27
I stand between the candle and the star between the darkness and the light I am become GREY