Today, I came home to the nanny passed out on the couch from too much alcohol, my 2-year-old alone and locked in the bathroom, and my house in a complete wreck. To top it off, it's the day my mother-in-law, who hates me, is coming to visit from New York. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa, and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, and since we've had our baby, my mother-in-law started coming round more often, then bringing her stuff to stay overnight, then started claiming she lived here, and got hysterical when we told her she doesn’t. I had to pick her up and place her outside while she punched me in the head repeatedly. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
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Top comments
mamamiaaa_fml 12
Call the popo on the nanny for child endangerment who cares about the mother-in-law in a situation like this?
itsmygoodlife 4
Wow. Great nanny.
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Comments (155)
erikabt820 2
Desireev-- if you're going to be so successful at 27, then why didn't you wait til then to start having kids, then, you wouldn't have to use a daycare that much and you wouldn't miss any of those precious moments with your child.
DocBastard 40
Here's an idea - don't question someone else's life choices and concentrate on yours. There's no better way to piss off a parent than by questioning their decisions. Except maybe to hit the child...
xStaciexLynnx 15
Or become their nanny, get drunk, and leave the child with no supervision. That's probably top of the list too.
Dracoboxer357 36
While I agree with the Doc here, did it occur to you that maybe she had her child first Before she figured out how to be successful? Or that her pregnancy might bot have been planned? Or that maybe Desireev's is a working mother who is Still raising and loving her child better than many people anyways? I wouldn't bother asking either way, it's her choice(s) and she doesn't owe anyone an explanation for them.
sugaryspice 5
oh boy, not another one. Please, for the love of God, leave desireev alone. She sounds like she has her life completely under control and I applaud her for that. Furthermore, working hard to be successful in life and having kids are not mutually exclusive. Clearly, as she is doing, you can build a good life and be happy while raising kids.
desireev 18
My fingers hurt.. I'm not gonna explain it again. Thanks to all of you who understand and back me up on this topic. :)
remz89 3
I always hate when people ask such question. As a young mom myself, I completely understand des n her dreams to be successful, n am happy to see someone my age with the same mentality as me. Ppl like to assume that once you have a child your life is over. Yes it's harder but your not dead, so a comment like this annoys me. You do what you got to do to become what you want to become no matter the means, on top of that I'm a student going to university with a 6 month old, n I have yet to miss any of my daughters precious moments!
Burrito_Time 5
I say join the nanny
perdix 31
Fire your nanny and have your mother-in-law move in to become the new nanny. You'll save money and she'll teach your child to hate you as much as she does, This problem just seems to solve itself. YWIA.
BubbleGrunge84 7
Wow that's Terrible. I'm a nanny myself and I wonder ALOT about the FML. Has she had a problem with drinking in the past? Is something going on in her life? Is your child a terror that makes her want to drink? How long has she been your nanny? Something indeed is not right here, and your two year old could have been hurt or gotten into somthing he shouldn't have. I agree with other people, who cares about the mother in law, you and your nanny need to have a long talk about her future employment with you!
shoopd 19
Long talk? Nope! "Get the **** out" is pretty quick.
ScubaSteve96 0
Nanny 911 really needs to step up their game.
BTheIRules 1
I smell Sitcom
Calyx_fml 22
Was it Mary Poppins?
Judrum 2
I think it was Benny Lopez.
moriahss_29 0
wow that nanny not getting paid and making sure she goes ro jail and pressing charges
sugaryspice 5
This would be one of my worst nightmares. How awful! At least it sounds like the child was physically ok, which would be the only good thing in this situation.
SukiIzumi 8
So how exactly did you pick this nanny out to watch your child?