Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
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Top comments
Killz268 18
she's had a little too much of mommy juice lol
Cads1 24
She was drunk, stop being so insecure and give her a break.
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Comments (61)
JackJordan2307 15
Lol
ChristinePi 36
Drunk people are uhhhh definitely interesting sometimes.
ghetto_child 19
impaired vision and more emotional... some of the very fine effects of drinking :)
Cads1 24
She was drunk, stop being so insecure and give her a break.
Eliiara 11
I've been incredibly intoxicated before but I've always been able to recognize family/close friends. She probably wasn't aware of what she actually said. Hopefully everything has been cleared up.
lunaangel 14
proper way to handle this is to hold her and just say Im right here and try to keep her calm because drunk people are basically little kids and confused . then one she sobers upgive her A hangover kit including sunglasses and ear plugs and figure out why she felt the need To get Crazy Drunk . if she is just a party nut take care of her and do an intervention
karcummings 19
just incase i suggest you buy her a pregnancy test … lol .
karcummings 19
who keeps giving a thumbs down to exceptional comments? a bit RUDE.
Shrike 24
That's kind of what the button's there for, to show disapproval of exceptionally shitty comments.
karcummings 19
but literally EVERY comment is getting a -1
Shrike 24
Yeah, that is weird, someone must be bored. Hope it was worth the loser's trouble.
pjsr 33
No, some have a lot of upvotes. It's just the bad ones with downvotes, We've all had it happen; just accept it.
karcummings 19
pfft!! i tootally accept it. just was kinda stupid of someone to do.
MeltedMango 8
Don't take it too badly, she's probably just drunk out of her mind.
chaseafterwind82 29
Tell her that her daughter is in bed, and then say you'll take her there to see her.
ididntdoitiswear 14
I'm sorry she said that, OP. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it.