Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be alright, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I saw his newly updated Facebook status, which read, "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
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Top comments
alexhaz64 4
Congratulations, your boyfriend's a seahorse!
Krirn 21
Maybe his secret boyfriend forgot to pull out.
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Comments (123)
fibsville 3
He might have taken it to find out if he has prostate cancer. It was a thing on Reddit a couple of months ago. Ask him, this might be nothing. Was it positive?
perdix 31
Yay, you passed the test! We've seen some guys engage sleeping girlfriends, while others wank using their hands. You've got a weirdo boyfriend who harvests your pee while you sleep ... there's your FML.
BiaBauer 29
That's a surprise. I would be shocked too. Communication is the key, just talk to him, maybe he knows how it got there. Good luck!
TheNamelessOne 9
All this FML says is that you're not pregnant, not that you didn't take a pregnancy test. So it seems the FML is that you live with your boyfriend and aren't pregnant? I'm sure you just worded it wrong but seeing as how it makes no sense I refuse to vote either way. Never make assumptions on FML :)
SaturnV 25
Not making assumptions is a good practice in general, but when the FML contains text that has fairly logical, straightforward implications, your assumption will often be accurate. In this FML, the text that most strongly implies that the FML is, indeed, about the presence of an unexplained pregnancy test (not over the fact that she ISN'T pregnant) is the statement that she lives *alone* with her boyfriend. That part of the FML would be likely not be included if she was simply lamenting not being pregnant herself, as it is completely irrelevant to that situation.
ilovegordon 6
They say when you assume it makes an ass out of u and me, but darling, you just made an ass out of u all by yourself... This FML was far clearer than some of the other brain farts on here.
addicted2_FML 6
Maybe he freaked when he didn't get his period
DanielleinDC 34
I would definitely ask him about it. Yes, a pregnancy test can determine some types of testicular cancer, but not all. He may have done it as a joke (in which case he's pretty ******* immature). He could have allowed his sister, another relative, or a mutual friend to take the test there. Or he could be cheating with some psycho bitch who wants to sow dissension between you. Hopefully it isn't the latter.
kitten1323 19
Don't get freaked out, op. It could belong to a friend, or a sister or other relative. She could have been scared and freaked out and confided in him. Then she probably took the test there so she'd have some support. Talk to him about it. I think its more likely that it was a relative rather than a second girlfriend.
GhostChickens 17
If it makes you feel better, there are plenty of reasons that the test was there. Like others have said, it can be a test for testicular cancer, it could be a friend or relative that had taken the test or he could have been messing about. It's not that unlikely it was just a friend's test. My friend thought she was pregnant, but she took the actual test in my house because she didn't want to get her boyfriend's hopes up. They'd been trying for a baby for a year and they'd had no luck.
Donovan_757 8
Looks like a job for McGruff the crime dog!
poccocurantes 7
And apparently got her pregnant. Who's the hermaphrodite now OP?