Work, Kids and Pizza: Today, I came home from a long business trip. I walked in the...

By Anonymous - 24/11/2018 17:30

Today, I came home from a long business trip. I walked in the front door to see my house was a complete mess. The first thing my son said was, "Did you bring pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 838

You deserved it 355

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Same thing different taste

Gimme a break

By anon - 04/04/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 165

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 169

Open invitation

By Anonymous - 18/04/2022 06:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 187

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 15:00

Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 2 662

What happened here?

By Lisa - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 014

You deserved it 334

By Livingthedream - 12/08/2018 06:00

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 468

Did I teach you NOTHING?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 00:00

Today, I ordered pizza for dinner and left cash by the door so my son could pay for it, in case it arrived before I got home. I told him they should get all the money, but I just found the tip. Apparently he thought I'd miscounted. I'm a server. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 188

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 07:04 - United States

Today, I was at a house delivering pizza. As I walked away, I heard the mom mutter to her child, "That's why you go to college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 833

You deserved it 6 205

By rileynautumn - 13/06/2011 19:04 - United States

Today, after a full shift at work, I got home to my boyfriend playing CoD, a full sink, crap all over the table, a full cat box, dirty bathroom, no laundry done and the kids at my parents' house. He yelled at me because the place was a mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 232

You deserved it 9 693

Grossed out

By disguested - 04/03/2010 20:01 - United States

Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 740

You deserved it 16 825

fjvitt 14

Saturday 24 November 2018 17:48

Well...did you?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 9 November 2018 18:13

"Did you keep the house clean and tidy? No? Well I 'didn't bring pizza', either. Now get cleaning while I eat my Meat Feast flat bread before it goes cold."

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 9 November 2018 18:13

"Did you keep the house clean and tidy? No? Well I 'didn't bring pizza', either. Now get cleaning while I eat my Meat Feast flat bread before it goes cold."

fjvitt 14

Saturday 24 November 2018 17:48

Well...did you?

Angcrad 17

Saturday 24 November 2018 17:55

Sometimes you need to bring a belt

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 24 November 2018 20:25

Why didn’t you have pizza? You should order some pizza and bask in the slacker lifestyle. You might find the work required to keep a clean house is just not worth it.

Mark Williams 5

Saturday 24 November 2018 21:21

wow! he sure must like those panties!

TumblrweedPasses 11

Saturday 24 November 2018 22:14

How old is your kid?? Hire a babysitter next time you go away seeing as he can't be trusted

weaboo 12

Sunday 25 November 2018 1:14

Why’d he assume you brought pizza??? Whenever someone from my family comes back from a trip the first question we ask is did you bring chocolate because you can bring chocolate from wherever you were but a pizza would just get ruined