Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with...

By kimftwxox - 3/5/2011 02:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with a bottle of beer in one hand. He was crying. I thought I would be a good Samaritan and see if he was okay. After 15 minutes of hearing about how much his life sucked, he mugged me. FML

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kimftwxox Say more :

Yeah I know it was stupid, but I'm a good person.. I help work at social care and I hate seeing people upset. It was all in good intention, fair enough I maybe shouldn't have spoke to him and I deserved what I got I was only trying to be nice in the end. And saying I copied jesus' story is pathetic.

Miscellaneous

Crowded House

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

Business savvy

By tommy - 20/12/2011 22:41 - United States

Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML

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By Joey - 6/10/2012 05:57 - United States - Reno

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

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By choldcreations - 7/3/2010 14:12 - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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By poro123 - 5/11/2012 05:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

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By sorrygrandma - 1/2/2012 03:34 - United States

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

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By - 12/1/2017 20:00

Today, after 3 years of unemployment and 6 months of hard studying, I found out I hadn't actually registered myself for the public service exam that will happen later this month and could finally get me a job. FML

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By fuck florida - 16/5/2014 19:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

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By Pants-Girl - 24/11/2019 08:00 - Canada

Public surprise

Today, I was out walking downtown. A woman walking behind the thought that my pants were hanging too low. She came over to me and yanked my pants up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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By Anonymous - 27/8/2012 07:29 - United States - Brockton

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

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By ididntevendrinkthatnight - 7/6/2013 05:14 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

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By kyla - 24/4/2011 05:56 - United States

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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By tallwoman - 18/5/2010 18:57 - Denmark

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML

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By Tiffer27 - 25/1/2016 18:02 - United States

Today, I went to a very important job interview. I was so nervous that I passed out right in front of the interviewer's desk. FML

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You deserved it

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By notawizard - 16/7/2009 10:16 - Spain

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/2/2017 20:00 - Canada - Westerose

Today, our family cat died. I had to explain this to my 2 small children, who had no experience with death. I ended up bawling like a baby while they consoled me, telling me she had, "gone to a better place". FML

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By Anonymous - 31/7/2016 16:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML

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By cap - 9/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Last trip

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

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By joanikens - 14/11/2016 07:20

Today, I was so broke, I couldn't come up with enough change to pay the parking meter at my job. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/8/2012 08:21 - United States - Montebello

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

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By fuck Star Wars! - 31/5/2020 08:00

In a galaxy far, far away

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a massive argument. I suggested we have a movie night. He suggested an all day/night Star Wars marathon. I’d be OK, if it wasn’t for the fact that we’ve done that at least five times in the last two months. He says I’m the one being unfair. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 19:10 - Ireland

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

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By loling - 25/2/2010 09:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out a guy I had a thing with a while back thinks I am obsessed with him. This is because when he said that we should be friends, I stupidly thought he was being sincere and bothered to call him all of three times in the last five months. Clearly a sign of obsession. FML

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By gutted - 7/5/2012 02:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

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By Ilovelife07 - 19/9/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

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By katiebell - 4/10/2019 12:00

Crossed purposes

Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML

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By stalker - 27/9/2009 17:24 - United States

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

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By Faaccckkk - 25/3/2013 14:48 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

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By George Saunders - 21/3/2012 04:06 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

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By what... - 15/9/2013 18:47 - United States - North Port

Today, my boss took me to one side and said, "Cross me like that ever again, and you're fired." I have no clue what he was talking about, and he denies ever having said a word to me. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/12/2010 12:49 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML

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By anonymous - 20/6/2013 01:09 - United States - Houston

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/2/2013 05:44 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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By Facebook - 13/6/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I logged into facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, they were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

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By moronicmoroccan - 23/1/2009 10:16 - Philippines

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

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By Anonymous - 25/8/2012 03:31 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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By seanjohn268 - 29/11/2011 17:21 - Canada

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

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By Birdman - 23/6/2018 15:00

Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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By "people these days" - 19/7/2013 20:36 - United States - Fairfax

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/7/2014 20:44 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

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By Murphy's law - 13/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was working on my laptop when the screen suddenly turned red. I was shocked since it's not that old, but my insurance just expired. On my way to the service I was thinking, "At least my car works!" Well... A few hours later, my car broke. FML

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You deserved it

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Top comments

By kimftwxox | 0

#2452046 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 12:54

By nadimishka | 8

#5734182 - Tuesday 29 October 2013 18:01

Nothing wrong with being a good person, OP. Blessing and a curse sometimes.

Comments

By lickerassholes | 0

#2451418 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 8:56

I am first

By xdust | 4

#2451420 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 8:56

first!

By Matty1188 | 6

#2451424 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 8:58

At least you tried.

sterlingarcher | 1

#2451442 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:01

yeah at least u were nice

eprieto | 0

#2451497 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:12

old people suck

largefoofighter | 0

#2451506 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:13

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Death_From_Above | 0

#2451553 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:24

never trust a homeless man with a beer!

ydi_4_suking | 20

#2451586 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:36

no just dont talk to people you dont know unless you absolutley have to. being nice isnt worth shit in this world anymore. it now has consequences with it

imlagginglol | 0

#2451589 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:36

"So yeah after I lost my house I went into a drinking rage and now I will have to take your wallet to support this habbit I am sorry"

mfmylifesrsly | 29

#2451733 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 10:26

YDI for trying to copy a story Jebus told.

lareske | 0

#2451779 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 10:55

Just goes to show that being nice and helping people doesn't pay. It only costs you in the end. You know what to do next time keep going and don't stop.

TookaWooka666 | 0

#2451784 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 10:56

Now if only the OP would have tried harder not to get mugged, but still that sucks.

ryukensfj | 5

#2452145 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 13:24

just do the same thing. sit down and pretend to cry and mug the next person that tries to be nice to you.

Mitcha857 | 0

#2452511 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 15:46

18 wtf he did it to be selfish? how the hell does that work? who would be watching him to make him get recognized? it's funny cause now your point is invalid!

TroII | 0

#2452841 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 16:58

Nice guys finish last....

FarSide | 22

#2453327 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 19:25

You couldn't whip the ass of an 80 year-old drunk who was already sitting down?

Yea, I would have to say.... FYL.

By The_Voytek_Bear | 14

#2451430 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 8:58

You generally avoid people drinking outside...

RaineLee | 5

#2451842 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 11:37

4 - Yeah I would too :/

atlas22 | 0

#2452498 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 15:43

So true, so true

turkturkington | 13

#5734360 - Tuesday 29 October 2013 21:18

By mariazzz | 5

#2451431 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 8:59

fyl I think twice about helping homeless people...

hypnotiq_trini | 0

#2451629 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:49

Where did they say he was homeless? The op just stated the were old. plus, homeless people have feelings and rights too, don't stereo-type them all because of a few.

mariazzz | 5

#2451636 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:53

yes true I assumed he was homeless. my bad... I've had a few experiences with some nasty ones. that's why I said I think twice. I do and have helped however.