Miscellaneous: Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with...

By kimftwxox - United Kingdom

Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with a bottle of beer in one hand. He was crying. I thought I would be a good Samaritan and see if he was okay. After 15 minutes of hearing about how much his life sucked, he mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38879

You deserved it

9659

Favorite

kimftwxox tells us more :

Yeah I know it was stupid, but I'm a good person.. I help work at social care and I hate seeing people upset. It was all in good intention, fair enough I maybe shouldn't have spoke to him and I deserved what I got I was only trying to be nice in the end. And saying I copied jesus' story is pathetic.

Miscellaneous

Dementia or hate? You decide

Stay safe, stay home FFS!

Assumptions

By anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33688

You deserved it

3527

Favorite

By krt - United States

Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken. I show it to her laughing. She said it looks like me. I looked again and it kind of does. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26015

You deserved it

7764

Favorite

By probablyfired

Today, I was running late for work. I was trying to find my car keys, then realized I'd left them in my boyfriend's car. My phone charger was locked in my car, and my phone was dead. I couldn’t get hold of my boss and explain what had happened. I’m fired, aren’t I? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1260

You deserved it

539

Favorite

By mylifeblows - United States

Today, I found out my husband put a parental block on the TV so I couldn't rent a movie. I'm 42. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32949

You deserved it

8462

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I stubbed my toe, and as I was hopping about clutching my toe and swearing like a drunken sailor, I turned and saw my boss, our CEO and pretty much the entire board of directors through the boardroom's open door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1384

You deserved it

476

Favorite

By Meghan - United States - Valparaiso

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35579

You deserved it

5815

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53488

You deserved it

15142

Favorite

By DontGetSlapped - United States - Conway

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39403

You deserved it

2506

Favorite

By supermanxs1 - United States

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28698

You deserved it

6298

Favorite

By Ariella - Singapore

Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35735

You deserved it

2445

Favorite

By nick - United States

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20266

You deserved it

5345

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/12/2020 11:02 - Australia

One law for me…

Today, I got disciplined for sleeping on night shifts, by my boss, who also sleeps on night shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

652

You deserved it

330

Favorite

By princessrose

Today, I asked the guy I share a desk with at work out because he has texted me a few times and seemed pretty into me. He said he doesn't date coworkers, even though the last 5 people he's dated have been coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11604

You deserved it

1197

Favorite

By Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34837

You deserved it

8275

Favorite

By wahwah - United States

Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39094

You deserved it

6251

Favorite

By Nice - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

25947

You deserved it

5007

Favorite

By embarrassedmom - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

I agree, your life sucks

104120

You deserved it

25758

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29992

You deserved it

2856

Favorite

By redneckpunk - United States - Schaumburg

Today, during a date with my girlfriend, I found out you can hiccup hard enough to convince someone that you're having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31578

You deserved it

2664

Favorite

By Mew - United States

Hard pass

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

71083

You deserved it

4075

Favorite

By anonymous - 14/11/2020 06:57 - United States - Irving

Entitled

Today, where I work at a pharmacy, we were short staffed and running 4 hours behind. A lady came to drop off a new prescription. When I explained to her the wait time, she called the patient. I heard ,"No, they don't look busy." Like, really? FML

I agree, your life sucks

756

You deserved it

Favorite

By nitwit - Greece

Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31264

You deserved it

79180

Favorite

By depresso - Canada

Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

115904

You deserved it

5071

Favorite

By Bobby - United States - Las Vegas

Today, while housesitting my neighbor's dogs the phone rang. I answered it and a voice said, "Stop checking your Facebook and take care of my dogs. They look like they need to go out." FML

I agree, your life sucks

11266

You deserved it

32938

Favorite

By Iguana - Canada - Oromocto

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14646

You deserved it

28615

Favorite

By keyshame - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38246

You deserved it

6449

Favorite

By zep - United States

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20284

You deserved it

79261

Favorite

By KDM - Australia

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24881

You deserved it

6578

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54445

You deserved it

3044

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/8/2020 22:49 - Canada - Toronto

Classic canine move

Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

885

You deserved it

284

Favorite

By fleur_de_fevrier - Ireland

Today, I finally decided to go Christmas shopping. It's only once I arrived that I realized that I had forgotten my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10104

You deserved it

24053

Favorite

By manderz? - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13397

You deserved it

1097

Favorite

By verasam01 - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18782

You deserved it

51602

Favorite

By Kathleen Verhaegen

Pale AF

Today, I went to get a double conch piercing. Afterwards, the lady asked me whether I was feeling well, because I was looking so pale. I had to explain that it's my normal skin tone. I'm just pale as fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1199

You deserved it

200

Favorite

The hustler

Today, my boyfriend of six months, who happened to be my first kiss, broke up with me after borrowing 120 dollars. Not twenty minutes later, he was at the bar drinking with my brothers and my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2164

You deserved it

178

Favorite

By Noname - United States

Today, I had a gymnastics meet. I thought I was done with my period, but when I was up on the beam warming up my routine, one of my coaches called me down and told me that I apparently wasn't. My coach goes around asking my teammates moms if they had any pads. My dad caught this all on tape. FML

I agree, your life sucks

75705

You deserved it

7643

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Rochester

Today, the man that I have a crush on finally touched me. This would have been great, if not for the fact that it was to roll me on my side while I was having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28308

You deserved it

1868

Favorite

By homeless - United States

Today, I got home from work to find an eviction notice taped to my door, stating that I was a nuisance and had 30 days to vacate the property. I live at home with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30301

You deserved it

8838

Favorite

By Levi2411 - 6/1/2021 11:01

Work is hell

Today, I had to do the job of 3 to 4 people. Spending the first half in the bakery by myself, I then had to run over to the deli and cook everything for the day while helping lines of customers. Why? Because 8 people are on Covid leave. Instead of shutting down the department, welcome to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

941

You deserved it

1178

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, the gas company had to be called into work for a possible gas leak. The pipes are fine. I had White Castle for dinner last night. I'm the gas leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3753

You deserved it

1183

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By kimftwxox | 0

#2452046 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 12:54

By nadimishka | 8

#5734182 - Tuesday 29 October 2013 18:01

Nothing wrong with being a good person, OP. Blessing and a curse sometimes.

COMMENTS

By lickerassholes | 0

#2451418 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 8:56

I am first

By xdust | 4

#2451420 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 8:56

first!

By Matty1188 | 6

#2451424 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 8:58

At least you tried.

sterlingarcher | 1

#2451442 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:01

yeah at least u were nice

eprieto | 0

#2451497 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:12

old people suck

largefoofighter | 0

#2451506 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:13

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Death_From_Above | 0

#2451553 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:24

never trust a homeless man with a beer!

ydi_4_suking | 20

#2451586 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:36

no just dont talk to people you dont know unless you absolutley have to. being nice isnt worth shit in this world anymore. it now has consequences with it

imlagginglol | 0

#2451589 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:36

"So yeah after I lost my house I went into a drinking rage and now I will have to take your wallet to support this habbit I am sorry"

mfmylifesrsly | 29

#2451733 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 10:26

YDI for trying to copy a story Jebus told.

lareske | 0

#2451779 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 10:55

Just goes to show that being nice and helping people doesn't pay. It only costs you in the end. You know what to do next time keep going and don't stop.

TookaWooka666 | 0

#2451784 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 10:56

Now if only the OP would have tried harder not to get mugged, but still that sucks.

ryukensfj | 5

#2452145 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 13:24

just do the same thing. sit down and pretend to cry and mug the next person that tries to be nice to you.

Mitcha857 | 0

#2452511 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 15:46

18 wtf he did it to be selfish? how the hell does that work? who would be watching him to make him get recognized? it's funny cause now your point is invalid!

TroII | 0

#2452841 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 16:58

Nice guys finish last....

FarSide | 22

#2453327 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 19:25

You couldn't whip the ass of an 80 year-old drunk who was already sitting down?

Yea, I would have to say.... FYL.

By The_Voytek_Bear | 14

#2451430 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 8:58

You generally avoid people drinking outside...

RaineLee | 5

#2451842 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 11:37

4 - Yeah I would too :/

atlas22 | 0

#2452498 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 15:43

So true, so true

turkturkington | 13

#5734360 - Tuesday 29 October 2013 21:18

By mariazzz | 5

#2451431 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 8:59

fyl I think twice about helping homeless people...

hypnotiq_trini | 0

#2451629 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:49

Where did they say he was homeless? The op just stated the were old. plus, homeless people have feelings and rights too, don't stereo-type them all because of a few.

mariazzz | 5

#2451636 - Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:53

yes true I assumed he was homeless. my bad... I've had a few experiences with some nasty ones. that's why I said I think twice. I do and have helped however.