By higagram - 10/09/2010 03:15 - United States

Today, I bumped into a lady in the New Jersey airport. After I politely apologized she said, "Watch your step, asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 818
You deserved it 5 354
Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Mirorbo 26

Manners went out of style in the early 90's. It seems you won't make it anywhere in this world if you're polite to others. People seem to take it the wrong way and see you as even more of an asshole than you really are. If you were even one in the first place.

52 5
JokeMeister 0

The correct response was"**** You!!"

39 0

Comments

SoundnVasion 0

You should've started a huge one hour argument so that she would miss her flight. (Assuming she was on her way to one)

1 0
FFML_314 11

That sounds polite to me. Especially in Jersey. Don't worry. She won't remember that you're an asshole in a week.

3 3
Chrisskiies 0

She'll be thinking of the new asshole in a day. Lol.

1 0
Pro_Nothing 9

The correct response would be: "Im sorry b*tch, but I'm being polite and you act like that? Who's the F*cking asshole now?"

2 1
cars819 0

you should've replied," yeah I definitely do, if not I'll fall into that big ass of yours"

1 0
ohthebloodygore 16

Never say the FML is fake.

1 0
FFML_314 11

You got that right. Now, turn around and put your hands behind your back! I said NOW!

4 0
FFML_314 11

Will you, if I show you my /secret/ stash of beds with no bottoms? Come on, it's an offer you can't pass up.

2 2
redbluegreen 40

-licks lips- Alright, you throw in that pack of Bugles and you've got yourself a deal.

2 1
FFML_314 11

I'll throw in bugles AND tropical skittles. Man, this is starting to sound an awful lot like my Saturday nights.

2 1
redbluegreen 40

Oh? I didn't know you did ****. We've taken this to a whole new level, haven't we?

2 1
FFML_314 11

Why do I always end up in conversations about ****? I should change careers. Unless, you have an offer /I/ can't resist. Perhaps some $$ or maybe even one of those things you can keep stuff in. What are those called? !

2 2
redbluegreen 40

Cookie jars? Pirate chests? Coffins? My empty heart? @_@

2 1
FFML_314 11

The last one. I would like your heart.

2 2
redbluegreen 40

Well, you see it's located inside a chest. A pirate's chest to be exact.

2 1
FFML_314 11

I should just take it all huh?

2 1
redbluegreen 40

My ex wife said those exact same words. -breaks into hysterics-

2 1
FFML_314 11

*Puts head down in shame* How about another bag of bugles?

2 1
redbluegreen 40

Well, I do already have a Fruit By the Foot... Alright.

2 1
FFML_314 11

*Offers Pendatik as a virginal sacrifice*

2 1
redbluegreen 40

Looks like someone's taken a leaf out of my book. ^_^

2 1
RedPillSucks 31

Knock it off, you two. Do you know how hard it is to do a presentation at work when you've got a hard-on? DO YOU!!!???

2 1
FFML_314 11

I....I....I do. Do you know how /hard/ it is to listen to a presentation, when the boss has a hard-on? *Hides behind, Red* Don't hurt me.

2 1
aardvarkish 15

FML_314, if I were in your jeans, as in "If I were you," I would antagonize the hell out of a boss giving a presentation with a boner by biting my lower lip and breathing deep to heave my chest, etc.

2 1
FFML_314 11

How do you think he got the boner in the first place?

2 1
FFML_314 11

Pen, you do know she's going to burn you at the stake, right? You are my virginal sacrifice. It has to be done. I can't very much offer myself. Although, it's one of those offers that you can't pass up, she's looking for something a little bit more ......challenging or /hard/ if you will. Edit: Fawk you! I saw that....now I look foolish. Thank. You. Pendatik.

2 1
FFML_314 11

Now I don't feel bad about giving you as a peace offering. See if I EVER buy you ice cream again. -Europeans I tell ya-

2 1
SarahKalia 5

Welcome to America.

1 2