Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
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Top comments
vrossie_ 15
Can't you call then cops for that? ..
123amanda123 14
the poor hamster! :(
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Comments (297)
Ksweety_fml 27
Bitch crazy.
tigermom_natta 2
Restraining order?
nachosbabygurl 9
Psycho get a restraining order fast
candyycurnn 10
2 words.. Restraining order.
TrinityNevada 11
Dude, I feel ya. I have had several abusive exes and one example sticks out to me. I broke up with this guy because he was a control freak. He paid friends of his to call into my work and complain about my service or to say that they should drug-test me because i smelled like weed. I did smoke weed at the time, but not right before work. I had been employee of the month a few times and everyone liked me. But I smoked weed on my own time and he made sure management tested me. So I got fired. He also paid people to call the cops for "noise violation" so that they would come to my door and smell weed that I was smoking with my friends. That was my "punishment" for breaking up with him. Oh, and he sent nude pics of me to my parents so that I got into trouble. So I know how exes can be. for no reason.
Funnyguyproblems 1
Why the hamster? Poor little fella :(
weirdohh_ 2
Get a restraining order.. Just do it.. Psycho b*tch.
DoctorBassDrop 9
Oh my god that is horrible!
Aimee1331 9
Oh my ...
Goast_Remusov 2
At least you're now aware that your ex is a full-blown psychopath.