Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
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Top comments
vrossie_ 15
Can't you call then cops for that? ..
123amanda123 14
the poor hamster! :(
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Comments (297)
Rainbow_Crash 11
Oh, **** that crazy bitch. She's nuttier than squirrel shit. Press charges on her stupid ass for breaking and entering ad animal abuse.
radiocaf 29
holy crap, what. the. hell?!
thegreycat_fml 12
I think the police need to be involved. Quickly before she tries something worse. There is no excuse for her doing that, or abusing you to begin with.
Redvelvet16 11
Sue her! Have her charged for breaking and entering, animal cruelty, and so much more!
Anusss_Pounder 1
I hope this is fake :,(
mrcbh 6
I would buy a pumpkin, leave it on her doorstep, with a knife stabbed through a note that says...YOU.
courtneymareeeee 3
And I thought I was bad..
Bebbo_fml 21
Can't she be charged with animal cruelty?
StinkMonkey22 4
Break her window with a rock. I've done it plenty of times. It feels wrong before you do it, but after it feels great. (Not a sexual term)
ballpython 15
Sorry for your loss OP.