Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML
Today, I got into my car in the parking lot, or at least I thought I did. I sat down, buckled up, and only noticed something was off when a guy walked over from the shopping trolley carousel, opened the passenger door and said, “Can I help you?” Same car model, wrong car. FML
Today, I connected my phone to my car’s Bluetooth to listen to music. I didn’t realize my playlist had shuffled onto an old voice memo where I'd drunkenly recorded myself singing a heartfelt love song about pizza. It played as my boss got in for our carpool to a conference. I had to sit through the drive while she hummed along to “Cheese, you complete me.” FML
Today, I forgot that I gave my Bluetooth speaker a ridiculous device name as a joke when I'd first got it. It's all fun and games until you're around your family and they see the device name "ScoobyDooCumMilk" and are trying to figure out whose device it is. FML
Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine three weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealership to pick me up. She backed into my car. FML
Today, my phone auto-connected to my car’s Bluetooth as I drove my boss to a meeting. I didn’t realize my playlist had switched to dramatic telenovela theme music at full volume. She jumped, grabbed the door handle, and asked if I was “OK, like, emotionally?” FML
Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML
Today, the Snapchat that I was taking of my car being washed, including my commentary like, "Oooh yeah, get into it baby," was replayed loudly through my car via Bluetooth while the workers were inside and all around washing it. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sirpantselot 22
McGee... is that Scottish?
yetanotherginger 19
It's easy enough to laugh it off though, plus it comes in handy for lowering the price even further
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (72)
jazzykinss 1
Haha
gman90210 18
Your life don't suck be amuse of that. And if that's the only thing that makes a fml for ya then you should be thankful
PhishloverA 14
It's okay OP. My Bluetooth name is Cravin Morhed
CharresBarkrey 16
Are you from Arizona? That's a radio name of someone on a local station here.
Here4theshow 17
Should've pronounced it in a foreign accent OP!
tacohead411 14
Are you making a reference to NCIS OP ?? ;D
Beckei 18
I wouldn't be embarrassed I'd just throw some more anchorman quotes out there :)
afairshake 8
It's from the movie Anchorman that is hilarious and epic everyone should see it. Funny name but I'd have tried to remember before handing it over to the car guy.
tsent8 15
At least its not asstastic
NigerianMedicine 11
Excellent Anchorman reference.
Sir_Douchington 1
mines set at doucheington along with any electronic device that lets me name it. I fell no shame when people see it....but i have no shame