Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML
Today, I'm in the middle seat on a flight to Dallas. The guy on the aisle is sleeping with his mouth open and I can smell his breath. I feel nauseous. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a stranger. We made awkward small talk until the elevator started smelling like something was burning. Turns out, the elevator was overheating. We had to spend 30 minutes stuck there, and I learned way too much about this guy’s weird foot fungus. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
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Top comments
graciedacie 0
He had hoped he was a hot woman as well? Interesting....
Compass 0
At least you and a stranger got comfortable. A lot of people either wouldn't participate in such conversation or would get offended.
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Comments (40)
xGinaxJorgex 0
lol oh well at least he didn't smell all round and took up ur seat nd snored in ur ear nd put crumbs all over u nd sat food out in ur face when he tlked :) If he did then ur a bit buffered ain't ya lol
EatMyCrayonz 0
Atleast your not obese xD
blowbubbles 0
whatttttt?!?? I'm confused.....alot!!!!
AwesomeKevin14 0
i dont get it...
Splayd 10
Now I see why movies don't use clever dialogue: The moron layman cannot understand it. Listen, dimwits: They exchanged some badinage, wherein the writer of this particular story stated, "At least you aren't smelly." Thereafter, he discovered that the man actually WAS, in fact, smelly. It was sort of a reverse poetic justice.
Newto42 1
Boys will be boys.