Today, I began my job volunteering at an orphanage in Beijing, China, working with 7-year-olds who just started learning english. We played a game where, if you got caught, you had to sing a song. I got caught, so I chose the ABCs. They all knew the song perfectly, I missed 3 letters. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at work at a preschool. I was sitting outside with the kids and was getting bored so I started singing. One of the little girls runs up and puts her hand over my mouth and tells me to stop. I'm in a select chorus at my highschool and plan to major in choral studies in college. FML
Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML
Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML
Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML
Today, I called the Vietnamese teacher at my son's kindergarten by my Chinese colleague's name. Luckily, she didn't catch it. I'm not a racist, I was just tired after a long day. FML
Today, I sang at a retirement home with my school choir. Afterwards, we went to speak to the old people, just to get to know them a little. The first woman I shook hands with asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML
Today, I sang the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song with a class of thirty 20-somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML
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Top comments
fxdxhk90 0
I'm just surprised that you wrote this without any spelling errors.
Sportsfan86 3
How do you miss 3 letters? If you're voulunteering, you should know it.
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Comments (183)
FreeLevi 0
How do you not know your "A,B,C's." You shouldn't be volunteering to teach them, they should be teaching you!
Pitterpat09 0
I think this is a fake... BigBallah93 had another one of his stories posted earlier about cauliflower. Lies
satanicminnow1 1
A Job volunteering? If it's a job (ie paid) the it is not volunteering, it is work. Fail.
carolizzle712 0
out of curiosity, which letters were they?
Aish_fml 0
way to go dumbass!
eli_guerra 0
Believe it or not, China has more English speakers than America! He is still a dumbass for messing up though. I admire foreign countries because they learn other languages! More Americans should do so in my opinion. YDI tard.
FarSide 23
Who cares what you think asshole. Being the lone World Superpower gives certain privileges. You speak what we speak.
notFUNNYtoMEass 0
there is more than one country that is a world superpower, dumbass. quite frankly eli_guerra has more room to speak than you do because he/she has a point. a lot of people from other countries are bilingual and know english, and a lot of americans are arrogant enough to think that they don't have to learn another language because english is one of the more popular languages around the world. just saying.
Iellwen 12
Your "lone World Superpower" owes China (according to the Treasury Department's latest figures) around $1.2 Trillion as Japan holds nearly $900 billion. In all, U.S. debt held abroad totals some $4.4 trillion. This is one example out of a thousand (or more). Just to tell you: enjoy living in your superpower while it lasts you moron. By the way: "you speak what we speak". You mean English? The official language of the United Kingdom the was taken over by a buch of ignorant arrogant white fools that don't say arse but ass and mean arse? Really? Mandarin (chinese dialect) is the most spoken language on the planet, because of the chinese population and the fact that some people are not scared to learn complicated languages. English (and not american) is the second most spoken language on the planet, as it's the official language of many countries. And America is a Superpower mainly because it played the wonderfully enriching part of a two-sided bitch during the World Wars and other wars. I mean, if I have sold tons of weapons to Nazis or other dictators, I'd have loads of money too for a while. Wouldn't boast about it though. I have nothing against America per say. I actually think it's a country with a wonderful and rich background that's worth seeing. I do have something against close-minded arrogant ***** that claim to be the best, to have to best culture and history, to speak the best language in the world or to crap the best shit. Now get your head out of your arse.
cerious22 0
you have got to be kidding me. how does anyone forget their ABCs????????
DSuarez94 0
you fail isn't that like a requirment for you to know the ABCs to graduate from kindergarden
FarSide 23
Way to go retard. The word is "kindergarten", NOT "kindergarden". People like you give dumbasses an ignorant reputation.
notFUNNYtoMEass 0
uh.... dumbasses are in fact ignorant... that's why they are called dumbasses LOL... oh my
notFUNNYtoMEass 0
how the **** do you miss 3 letters...
shawnarawwwrr 0
i love how ironic most of the comments are on this post. the ones that are trying to make the OP look stupid, i mean. full of grammatical errors and typos :P good job kids!