Intimacy: Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room...

By konens_dick - 22/03/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276 744

You deserved it 37 114

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Same thing different taste

By nudesurprise - 16/04/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 917

You deserved it 35 097

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 448

You deserved it 6 191

Priorities

By MacBook - 14/05/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, my dad was in town for a day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dad's slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. In total, we talked for 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 009

You deserved it 4 185

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 158

You deserved it 1 270

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 607

You deserved it 10 108

By jane smith - 01/07/2010 12:11 - Australia

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 572

You deserved it 18 036

By peaaaak - 03/06/2011 10:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 198

You deserved it 5 051

By ugh - 12/03/2010 06:05 - United States

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 096

You deserved it 3 612

A heads up next time maybe?

By Bob - 07/04/2020 02:00

Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 673

You deserved it 1 005

Quick, hide!

By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 930

You deserved it 18 640

CptJackSwallows 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 16:28

that is bloody funny. Plan on how to get him back.

Inkspell 2

Sunday 22 March 2009 16:29

LMAO. that's a fun roommate.

Comments

DanceRox9008 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 18:36

hahhahahahahahaahahahahahaah!!!!!!!! this hilarious! im glad it made it up even though its not an FML just cause its sooo funnny!!

Atropos_fml 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 18:37

I would really love to know your dad's reaction to that. Your roommate is a genius, as everyone's said. But definitely use some of #10's and #25's ideas.

xxhayhayxx 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 18:40

haha damn that sux but it's hella funny..what happened after? your roommate is a genius but you definitely gotta get him back...#10 & #25 were awesome

kayronjm 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 18:53

LMAO, that's great! I'd be willing to do that to someone hahahaha.

hooverSP 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 18:53

OH man, that is classic... My old roommate once greeted me at the front door with my new g/f naked and crying "why do you close your eyes when me make love?" needless to say, i had an awkward convo with my g/f after that. I proceeded to litter his room with **** the next time his g/f was coming down for a visit...

ironical95 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 18:55

BWAAHAHAHHAHAHA. that's halarious.

Locket_fml 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 18:56

agree with #41, it would be funnier if he brought a girl back and you just said "This doesn't count towards that bet mate, I said a good looking girl"