Animals: Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere... - FML

By Ethan - 17/10/2009 11:13 - United States

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 107

You deserved it 2 402

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Curious...

By 16Charlie5 - 19/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke to the smell of poop in my apartment. I went to investigate and found out a cat had pooped in my living room. I don’t have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 707

You deserved it 277

By maggotsinmycarpet - 12/07/2010 20:56 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 498

You deserved it 5 120

By PghSportsNation - 02/09/2011 14:56 - United States

Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 504

You deserved it 4 357

By RustyBulletHole - 04/02/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 158

You deserved it 2 357

It just gets worse

By Anonymous - 30/03/2023 04:00

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had barfed all over my laptop's keyboard and screen, filling each nook and cranny of the stuff. As if that wasn't bad enough, when I went to make coffee to deal with the stress, I found that I was out of coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 189

By Anonymous - 10/02/2013 01:39 - United States - Decatur

Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 450

You deserved it 2 403

The Lovecats

By Anonymous - 30/08/2021 09:01 - United States - Springfield

Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 178

By GrossedOut - 11/01/2012 07:47 - United States

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 922

You deserved it 2 419

By crazycatlady - 24/08/2016 09:43 - United States - Ashland

Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 182

You deserved it 1 564

By danjoylovefun - 25/10/2010 00:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 621

You deserved it 3 470

Next

Top comments

LemonadePink 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 20:24

Maybe you transform into a cat at night and have no recollection of this. Mystery solved.

sarah2144 14

Saturday 17 October 2009 19:59

FYL. That's disgusting.

Comments

clockworkrainbow 3

Saturday 17 October 2009 21:00

Wasn't cat fur, it was Chupacabra fur. Invest in goats to keep it fed and out of your house.

Aj_teh_cool 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 21:04

yeah. sure. a cat just broke into your house to take a shit? if this was real, you're dumber than the cat to post something thi fake. at least try to make it real, dumbfuck.

nazooer 11

Saturday 17 October 2009 21:45

Ya im so sure this is fake, i mean a cat getting into a house maybe sitting around for a while, then having to take a shit ? wow this is fake... NOT! Dumbfuck comment im replying to

angorashi 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 21:12

Cat? Pfft. You, my friend, have found Bigfoot.

Cant_Touch_This_ 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 21:22

Ok. From common sense reasoning, we can deduce one logical explanation. A chupacabra broke into your home. I mean honestly. Thats the ONLY ******* thing that would explain what happened.

yowzerz 5

Saturday 17 October 2009 21:23

effing cats. they're evil. fyl.

BE3F 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 21:27

You are being haunted by a cat!

allysonnn 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 21:28

i love kitties

longcatwins 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 1:02

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| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | / / ____ | / | | | | | / | | __/ __/ Longcat is long.

sLsIDK 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 7:45

LOL WIN @OP: Guess you're not really a cat person... FYL

DickGozinya 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 21:29

sorry sometimes I get the urge to poo after making sweet love to stray cats

kimchihero 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 21:35

seems like a prank haha someone cut open a whole in your screen door and threw in a cat.

Aj_teh_cool 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 21:38

roflmfao to

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Keywords

Kids Names Music Work Customers Awkward Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Money Roommate AITA Parents Allergies Dogs Singing Embarrassing Cute Neighbours Accident Health Ironic Animals Cats Love Airport Intimacy Sex Relationship advice Cheating

The Top

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 560

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 964

You deserved it 931

The Top

Today, I got off late from my bartending job, which is close to my house, but my boyfriend begged me to come to his place half an hour away. I decided the sex would be worth the drive. He was sound asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 548

Are your friends as great as these? In honor of this special day, maybe DON'T make up an excuse not to hang out with your friends. They're not soooo bad...

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 153

Today, I posted a pic of my prom dress on facebook. The dress looked amazing on me and it just felt so right. So I spent every single dollar I had and some borrowed to buy the dress. When I logged on later that night, the first comment asked "Is this a joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 585

You deserved it 5 105

Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 743

You deserved it 43 422

Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 561

You deserved it 12 424

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 591

You deserved it 3 406