Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend slapped a waxing strip on my beard because she is sick of quarantine and wanted to lash out at someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML
Today, as I was bent over drying my legs after a shower, my girlfriend snuck behind me and pulled a hair off my ballsack for absolutely no good reason. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
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Top comments
carrythebanner 3
Dudes should know by now never ask girls when they're on their periods
DocBastard 40
What kind of idiot asks that? Oh right, you do. NEVER ask that. Never.
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Comments (95)
sincere14 9
you NEVER ask if she on her period cause thats going to piss her of even more. im sorry you had to learn this the hard way
RomoniReed 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Women be evil creatures when on their periods. I saw a woman slap the spit out of her husband,no reason whatsoever, then apologize a few minutes later.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Imagine the pain of someone squeezing your balls tightly, then finally when they let go, not twenty seconds later it happens again. Couple that with feeling lethargic, nauseated, and sore. Now you may understand why some women can be testy around that time of the month.
TheDrifter 24
Men call that a hangover combined with blue balls. Happens to us all the time, but we've learned that it will soon fix itself and to medicate the symptoms away instead of making everyone around us miserable.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Unfortunately for many women, medication doesn't help any of the symptoms at all. They can take pain killers, specifically designed "PMS"-medication, and still have to endure the full blow of all the symptoms. So imagine your "blue balls with a hangover" only there is not a SINGLE thing you can do to ease any of the discomfort, and it lasts for DAYS, not just a few hours. Don't tell me you'd just "tough it out" and not make other people's lives miserable. I know MANY a man who will become a complete whiny tart when he's sick and can't reach the remote (there's a reason why there is a stereotype of the "man cold") - I can't imagine how they'd be acting if they had your supposed "blue balls with hangover."
firefighterjohn 9
lucky she didn't duct tape you to the bed or something... or .... to bad she didn't haha
76transam 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So when does she start?
Pinkfreak43 5
That's something you NEVER ask a girl. It pisses us off even more! FYL, YDI.
77777771 12
That's the worst thing you can ask a girl.
micahsmommy 13
Oh you silly stupid boy. Just start marking it on a calendar that she will never see. That way you're prepared but you never make this mistake again.
TheDrifter 24
I have an app for that. It even gives me a pms reminder to be on good behaviour every morning tye week before, just in case. My ol' lady isn't too bad, but I suffer from foot in mouth disease, so the app is a godsend.
canucks92 0
Never ask a girl that!
HeartsCry 0
So why shouldn't guys ask?
Stealthclaws 16
It makes us feel like they don’t take our emotions seriously, and we’re just there for when they’re horny.
Vicanlp 10
Everyone who's saying "she must be on it now" are either idiots, pre-pubescent, or men. Periods don't work like that. Women don't work like that. Yes, our hormones mess with our heads, but that doesn't mean we're only angry or "bitchy" during that time, and it definitely doesn't freaking mean our periods are the reason we're angry. Some women don't even get angry - we have a whole range of emotions and moods available to us! Imagine that. Our vaginas don't control our brains. Who knew? The fact that the OP was ignorant enough to even think this was a question he's entitled to ask sort of makes me want to weep for the state of humanity. His girlfriend should've done something much worse.
TheDrifter 24
Certainly women have a full range of emotions, and little control over them at the best of times, but they all seem to end up at angry when there is a man around to blame for each of lifes little annoyances.
saksxalmo 20
#54-- Yep, clearly. You must know everything, because men are clearly totally logical all the time. And by your standards, I'm apparently not really female. Fascinating!