Intimacy: Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do...

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 13:20 - Spain

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 913

You deserved it 23 300

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 021

You deserved it 14 604

By Sharibabi65 - 07/03/2012 06:16 - United States

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 483

You deserved it 6 857

Loverman

By dating a manchild - 01/06/2012 23:50 - Denmark - Hellerup

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 916

You deserved it 7 396

Spoiled the mood

By DFR - 09/06/2010 13:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 930

You deserved it 23 849

Whatever floats your boat

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 11:48 - France - Belloy-en-france

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly, and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 731

You deserved it 5 068

Man's best friend

By jess - 02/07/2025 03:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 492

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 714

You deserved it 8 441

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 754

You deserved it 5 671

Snuggle up

By addictedtofml - 24/02/2009 07:31 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 830

You deserved it 19 991

Classy

By Username - 07/06/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 012

You deserved it 13 048

amazinemo578 4

Wednesday 13 October 2010 19:07

what? that's romantic

spady62287 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 19:07

WIN!

Comments

kassiemarie 0

Monday 8 November 2010 4:27

haha that's pretty sexy ;) Gettt someeee! ;)

suckmysarcasm 10

Tuesday 9 November 2010 6:00

did u make him squeal like a piggy............ in the moonlight?

tutubito 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 2:33

he totaly sucks at being romantic!!!

Snegopady 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 0:27

Suck his dick in the moonlight with scented candles burning and 100 Greatest Love Songs playing in the background?

theretardedsquar 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 11:40

win!

NotProudOfMyself 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 5:08

I.. I love your boyfriend.

kizzck 6

Monday 29 November 2010 21:18

epic win

scribbles7 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 18:06

sounds like somebody I know..

JDBoyes07 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 6:56

Well.... At least he has a sense of humor?

CheetosLibrary 0

Friday 21 January 2011 5:41

Omg if my boyfriend said that to me I would get down on one knee and ask him to marry me. Obviously he's a catch :p

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Keywords

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Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 866

You deserved it 3 727

Today, I found out that my immediate supervisor had modified my phone in the priority order at our call center. As a result, any calls that came in during the night shift would be routed to my phone first, so that he can play games on his phone uninterrupted. It's been a whole year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 229

You deserved it 1 789

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 88 976

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 525

You deserved it 3 900

Today, I couldn't find my car in a mall parking lot. After 30 minutes of searching, I reported it stolen to the mall security. It turns out that I'd parked it on the opposite side of the mall. Security escorted me to my car, all while giving me pitiful looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 534

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 061

You deserved it 9 637