Health: Today, I arrived 10 minutes early to my orthodontist's office... - FML

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 00:43 - Australia - Fairfield

Today, I arrived 10 minutes early to my orthodontist's office to get my braces off. It turns out my appointment was actually one hour earlier, and now the next available appointment is in four weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 542

You deserved it 8 158

Commando

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Is this guy Hugh Hefner?

You BARBARIAN!

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 10:57

Today, my flatmate was once again passive aggressive and angry at me, despite being sweet and pleasant to everyone else. My crime? Putting a baking tray in the dishwasher without scrubbing it first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 284

By Nightsong - 30/03/2016 02:54 - Germany - N?rnberg

Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 320

You deserved it 19 286

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 17:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 356

You deserved it 43 985

By sharee - 19/12/2015 20:51 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, my father-in-law asked me if I have breast implants in front of the whole family for the third time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 159

You deserved it 2 101

By :$ - 06/08/2012 22:08 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 964

You deserved it 35 030

DST FML

By Anonymous - 06/10/2021 08:00

Today, my partner and I spent the last 3 days transitioning our 19 month-olds bedtime by 15 minutes each day for daylight savings, only to find out we've been going the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 1 100

By BadKneeBackAndSinuses - 23/09/2018 15:30

Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 760

You deserved it 130

By silkworm - 24/06/2009 06:44 - United States

Today, I got an invitation in the mail for my dad's third wedding. My first name was misspelled on the envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 882

You deserved it 2 741

By whyeventry? - 02/08/2013 04:39 - United States - Neenah

Spicy

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 008

You deserved it 12 676

By bregaja - 25/02/2016 18:59 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his mom for the very first time. After shaking my hand and looking me up and down, she loudly proclaimed, "She doesn't have the right hips to have kids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 784

You deserved it 1 611

By Mary - 21/11/2008 10:06 - France

Spicy

Today, after a year together, my boyfriend admitted to me that in bed I had as much an effect on him as a crossword puzzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 178

You deserved it 4 332

By StevieMe - 08/04/2009 14:48 - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 662

You deserved it 98 787

By ouchmyeye - 10/06/2011 04:59 - United States

Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 641

You deserved it 5 106

Little shit

By moneyman22 - 01/03/2010 19:09 - United States

Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 393

You deserved it 3 943

By anonymous - 23/03/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend and she was making me listen to one of her recordings for chorus. As I was listening to it a solo came on, and i turned to her and said "This is the worst F*ing solo I've ever heard in my life." Little did I know, it was her solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 853

You deserved it 86 260

By BrakesNotBumpers - 12/06/2015 21:09 - United States - Reading

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 939

You deserved it 2 401

By Dead_Fox - 21/11/2012 05:48 - United States - Jonesboro

Spicy

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 729

You deserved it 3 847

By Wyomingwannbe - 30/04/2016 11:25 - United States - Lawrence

Today, my wife and I are planning a simple team meal for our son's team. We're stuck on pulled pork or meatballs. I've told her I don't care. She's still indecisive. This has been going on for 2 days. We're now not talking, over meatballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 064

You deserved it 2 284

By steppppphhhhhh - 09/04/2013 08:18 - United States - Pacifica

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 760

You deserved it 3 474

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 12:03 - United States

Today, I realized that the only things I gained from my Masters programs are more debt and the knowledge that you can use a semicolon in a list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 685

You deserved it 5 394

By all shat out - 07/11/2014 06:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 503

You deserved it 4 190

By Anonymous - 22/08/2016 11:49 - Australia

Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 435

You deserved it 1 422

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 11:28 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 386

You deserved it 10 055

By Anonymous - 02/01/2010 22:27 - United States

Today, my mom informed me that my entire family puts their dirty towels on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of the hamper. I've been using their dirty towels after showers for as long as I remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 067

You deserved it 6 460

By Tay - 17/02/2012 01:29 - Australia

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 488

You deserved it 2 711

By Anonymous - 03/12/2016 09:54 - United States

Today, I've had so many family members die in the past 4 years, I now think of which pictures would look good at people's funerals when I look through photo albums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 884

You deserved it 640

Stalker panic

By Anonymous - 04/09/2021 08:01 - Australia

Today, I was walking to the optometrist when I saw my creepy stalker following me. The entire shopping centre then sounded the alarm, so the rail was half down. Desperate to get away from my stalker, I turned around and walked out the store and hit my head on the rail in front of the employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 101

By huj - 25/09/2010 21:49 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 011

You deserved it 4 292

By Anonymous - 19/07/2017 07:00 - United States - Coplay

Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 602

You deserved it 477

By junior - 11/04/2010 08:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 222

You deserved it 46 278

By princesss_14 - 26/12/2013 02:07 - United States - Seguin

Today, I got a whistle key finder from my grandma for Christmas. This would have been nice if I could actually whistle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 987

You deserved it 4 918

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 078

You deserved it 9 826

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 21:45 - United States - Plainsboro

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 821

You deserved it 5 934

By Anonymous - 05/05/2015 15:31 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 417

You deserved it 3 704

By Anonymous - 07/03/2013 03:14 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 293

You deserved it 4 391

By jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 386

You deserved it 3 580

By flimflam - 02/09/2010 17:39 - United States

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 677

You deserved it 3 851

By lacieQ - 01/08/2014 20:09 - Canada

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 008

You deserved it 4 207

By anon - 29/01/2015 18:32 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 133

You deserved it 2 842

Hard shoulder

By Anonymous - 04/06/2020 08:00

Today, the guy I’ve been trying to get over for the last month finally messaged me like I’ve been hoping for, only to cry that his new girlfriend cheated on him and to ask if I think he should forgive her, because he, "appreciates my honesty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 193

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Top comments

youngmessi252525 20

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Saturday 5 September 2015 19:59

I would have shown up a day early

friskygrandma 15

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Saturday 5 September 2015 19:57

Your teeth will look beautiful no matter what!

Comments

friskygrandma 15

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Saturday 5 September 2015 19:57

Your teeth will look beautiful no matter what!

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Saturday 5 September 2015 20:45

Unless you don't wear a retainer for the rest of your life, then they'll go back to normal.

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Saturday 5 September 2015 22:05

Not necessarily. I know some people who stopped, and their teeth haven't grown back together. I also know some people who wear theirs every couple of days. It just depends on the person!

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Sunday 6 September 2015 4:27

You have to wear your retainers pretty much 24/7 when you first get your braces taken off, and then after a few months you have to start wearing them only during the night, and then wean it off to 6 nights a week until you get to 1 night a week. After that you can probably go down to once a month, but I've been on one night a week for the last 5 years and I can feel them moving if I leave it too long, that and it gets incredibly painful to put them in. My wisdom teeth are still coming through so I think if I don't wear my retainers, the wisdom teeth will destroy it. One tooth on the bottom already looks like it's being pushed out of place :(

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Sunday 6 September 2015 15:20

@32 You should probably get an appointment to make sure everything is okay (and based on your description, it's not).

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Saturday 5 September 2015 19:58

I know it must really suck but I'm sure 4 weeks will go by very quickly! Be patient, it'll be worth it.

youngmessi252525 20

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Saturday 5 September 2015 19:59

I would have shown up a day early

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Sunday 6 September 2015 4:29

Taking off braces is a glorious thing, I wouldn't miss it for anything. By the way, I'm getting mine off in 4-6 months, I should probably go now.

christopherwilli 14

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Saturday 5 September 2015 19:59

I know braces suck but just clutch it out for one more month

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Saturday 5 September 2015 20:00

Just reschedule.

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Saturday 5 September 2015 20:05

That's what they did.. Their scheduled appointment is 4 weeks from now..

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Saturday 5 September 2015 20:00

4 weeks isn't too bad. Sucks that you showed up an hour late though.

lemonadestand 7

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Saturday 5 September 2015 20:00

I bet OP didn't brace his/herself for this bad news.

tricksterVixen 9

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Saturday 5 September 2015 20:09

Omfg

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Sunday 6 September 2015 8:07

Omg no. Stop.?

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Saturday 5 September 2015 20:04

I'm sorry to hear about that, OP. But don't worry. It will be worth the wait. Until you get them off, remember that there is nothing wrong with have braces. I dont know what you look like, but I'm sure you look just fine. Keep your head up, OP. Time will fly by and your appointment will be here before you know it. (:

marigoldcobain 21

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Saturday 5 September 2015 20:20

Have you ever had braces? The looks aren't the problem.

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Sunday 6 September 2015 3:33

Yes. It was a very long time ago, however. I never had too many issues with them. (:

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Saturday 5 September 2015 20:04

Oof I have braces now and I really wanna get them off.. I still have until April.. Oh well tho, I guess ur teeth just looked better... Maybe it was a good thing??

tzemmy 25

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Saturday 5 September 2015 20:21

Same! April is my due date to have 'em off. It'll come quick

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Saturday 5 September 2015 20:10

1st world problems

tzemmy 25

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Saturday 5 September 2015 20:20

This website is 99% first world problems.

leogachi 15

Sunday 6 September 2015 0:39

@13 This website is full of first world problems, so I don't understand why you felt the need to single out this one.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 17

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 85

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 87