Animals: Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window....

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 14:28 - United States

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 253

You deserved it 11 320

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Same thing different taste

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 16:01

Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 127

Scaredy cat

By amazinghermit - 25/11/2014 04:21 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 187

You deserved it 6 567

Grounded

By cock sauce - 09/06/2012 21:15 - Switzerland - Luzern

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 377

You deserved it 29 653

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 06:00

Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 207

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 69 923

Cat people

By I’ll never see them again - 13/10/2022 08:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 201

Caught

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:47 - United States - Apollo

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 596

You deserved it 7 907

By valene5687 - 27/01/2016 05:20 - United States - Gretna

Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 392

You deserved it 5 447

By thatsureshowedme - 08/11/2014 20:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 094

You deserved it 30 467

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 616

You deserved it 42 648

rg350dx 29

Friday 21 June 2013 18:56

You should buy one of those attack dog suits the police use to train their dogs. You'd be invincible! Or a giant scratching post..

chris274 8

Friday 21 June 2013 18:57

Your cat's just protecting you, and itself from cat burglars.

Comments

Badluckbobby 12

Saturday 22 June 2013 11:37

Your cat is a thug.

emeralddragon 1

Saturday 22 June 2013 15:19

Apparently the cat wears the pants in that household.

exlexx 12

Saturday 22 June 2013 15:31

cool cat :-)

meridius4510 4

Saturday 22 June 2013 15:41

You need to grow a set, op

pmacxx 5

Saturday 22 June 2013 17:27

Get it declawed or get rid of it. You're making it think its okay to do this.

nyxiny 22

Saturday 22 June 2013 18:42

Um, because obviously chopping its "fingers" off at the first knuckle or getting rid of it are the only solutions. #120. Seriously? 1. Hiss at it incredibly loudly when it misbehaves/attacks. 2. Keep a squirt bottle by the entrance, and spray it while hissing, if just #1 doesn't work 3. Try getting a pheromone diffuser or something if he's just super uptight, to clam him down. 4. Explore many different options to see if something else can be done. 5. Call your vet and see if something else can be done.