Love: Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius,...

By Rich - 26/11/2011 20:50 - United States

Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 385

You deserved it 9 567

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Megara - 15/03/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 204

You deserved it 13 171

Denial

By TedX - 19/08/2020 20:07

Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 226

By ClosetMishap - 10/11/2009 16:25 - Canada

Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 695

You deserved it 4 742

By Anonymous - 21/10/2018 16:00 - United States - Trenton

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 239

This is me

By EchoDearEcho - 04/02/2010 14:52 - Australia

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 881

You deserved it 4 763

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 17:01 - Netherlands

Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 758

You deserved it 6 348

The proof is in the pudding

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 00:00 - Estonia

Today, I unintentionally came out as bi to my boss. He said he's fine with it and doesn't care either way, only that there is too much "gay propaganda" in the world and it shouldn't be shown and talked about so much. He also doesn't understand why I was reluctant to talk about my sexuality before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 442

Mixed signals

By Mark - 27/03/2017 09:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 817

You deserved it 369

By augiedd - 05/03/2014 02:46 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 822

You deserved it 7 457

By LesboLover - 26/06/2019 02:30

Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 271

I_EAT_KITTENS_FO 5

Saturday 26 November 2011 23:17

tell her "well, I guess if I'm gay, we can't have sex anymore"

StopDropNRoll 11

Saturday 26 November 2011 23:14

Looks like a new car it is ^^

Comments

letsgooo_fml 23

Friday 21 March 2014 9:27

I know I'm over 2 years late, but why exactly do people hate Priuses?

UmbreonKirby 14

Wednesday 14 May 2014 6:33

If you were gay (da da da, da da da) that would be okay (da da da, da da da) I mean cause hey (ha) I like you anyway

CaroAurelia 12

Saturday 29 November 2014 15:33

Having a Prius would make people think you're gay? Since when are Priuses considered "gay cars"?

americanafrican 32

Tuesday 16 December 2014 21:46

since Murcia was created and the Japanese tried to invade

Jamesd84 5

Thursday 1 December 2016 7:15

If you're really worried about people thinking you're gay maybe you need to self analyze.

peterblack67 9

Saturday 16 January 2021 21:09

That is a bizarre reason for not buying a car.

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The Top

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 192

Today, my roommate started packing up for when we move out in August. Thirty boxes later, I realized she's leaving me with only a dishtowel and a skillet while she traipses through Europe for the summer. She even packed the silverware. And the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 476

The Top

Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 719

You deserved it 36 093

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 052

You deserved it 4 743

Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 578

You deserved it 36 437

Today, a guy told me I was hot and that I should give him a chance. When I told him I was straight, he instantly called me a bigot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 557

You deserved it 390

Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 103

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 198

You deserved it 2 695