Kids: Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She...

By vkryss13 - 22/06/2015 19:10 - Guam - Tamuning

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 423

You deserved it 2 512

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Same thing different taste

By HttpsHaileyy - 15/06/2015 20:02 - United States

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 790

You deserved it 9 587

By NaniNarcotic - 16/08/2011 10:17 - Australia

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 881

You deserved it 73 461

Damian?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 06:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 115

By scaredofcutouts - 10/10/2012 21:44 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 994

You deserved it 2 325

By GetMeTheDamnBleach - 21/10/2014 19:46 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 512

You deserved it 32 141

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 127

You deserved it 4 927

By Natalie - 02/03/2010 22:05 - Canada

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 420

You deserved it 5 236

By neryc - 04/07/2014 19:41 - United States - Hummelstown

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 446

You deserved it 4 531

By bloody hell - 04/06/2015 05:59 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 972

You deserved it 3 848

Ninja skills

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 22:00

Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 116

abc2601 20

Tuesday 23 June 2015 0:21

Is the monkey okay?

invadermaythe1st 35

Tuesday 23 June 2015 0:20

Bit over the top...

Comments

DoomSkuller 28

Tuesday 23 June 2015 1:10

I still have a small piece of mechanical pencil lead in my arm from ~4 years ago when a friend-ish stabbed me

Cebolamole 13

Tuesday 23 June 2015 1:13

Imagine how the monkey feels!

kingnothing123x 11

Tuesday 23 June 2015 1:16

Girls can be demons hope you get better

AviKerensky 17

Tuesday 23 June 2015 1:33

I got stabbed, myself, with a pencil in middle school. I'm 31, and it's still there.

ViviMage 38

Tuesday 23 June 2015 1:46

You may have luck with a sterilized tweezer, but you may need to go to the ER to have it removed. I feel on sharp ice, got mud trapped in the wound, and still have a mud "tattoo."