Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

Today, my cat peed on the kitchen floor. As I went to get the mop, I slipped on the puddle not once, not twice, but three times. In quick succession. FML

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

Like that's an excuse

Today, my mother screamed at me because she thinks I peed on the toilet seat. Not my dad, me. I’m a girl. FML

You can't hide forever

Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML

Second time

Today, I found myself locked in a bathroom for the second time in my life. This time at least I was at home. I live alone. I had to break the window on the shower door and crawl out. Now, I need to crawl in/out to shower, brush my teeth and more. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML

Sprinkler system

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

Live Laugh Love

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

Getting wet, but not in the good way

Today, it's been the fourth day in the row my pregnant girlfriend peed the bed. It's also the fourth day I have to clean it since she's too embarrassed to do it. FML