Today, I think I found out just how many times I've ordered through UberEats when my delivery guy told me that, "We should stop seeing each other like this!" with a chuckle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I suggested ordering Uber Eats and my new boyfriend looked at me like I was suggested kissing a warthog, then ranted about how he's "not paying extra to get wrong cold food handled by an illiterate brown guy." Okay then. FML
Today, my husband is out with his buddies so I decided to have a solo night in and ordered Uber Eats for dinner. Two hours later, I was craving cheesecake and ordered through Uber Eats again like a little food gremlin. I got the same delivery guy, who now knows EXACTLY what I did. I'm hiding in my house until he leaves. FML
Today, I got into an Uber, said, “Hey! How’ve you been?” to the driver, thinking he was a friend of mine. The guy suspiciously replied, “Uh, I think we’ve never met,” and we both sat in uncomfortable silence for the rest of the ride. FML
Today, I was in an Uber with a friend I hadn't seen in 7 years. I was just catching her up on my daily life when my Uber driver decided to chime into our conversation and kindly inform me that: "[I] should be a stand-up comedian." He literally thought my life was a joke. FML
Today, I started ordering food on Uber Eats, hoping to meet a cute delivery girl and start a conversation. I got deliveries from "Stacey", "Pamela", and "Julie." All three of them were men who spoke poor English. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML
Today, I told a guy that I only see him as a friend. He ordered separate checks because, “I’m not giving boyfriend benefits to a girl who won’t make me one.” I hadn’t brought my card because he always pays for my meal. The restaurant held my phone as collateral until I Ubered 10 miles away to get my card. FML
Today, I got into an Uber, excited for the date I was going to. After about 20 minutes, I had a confused conversation with the driver, because it seemed like we were going to the wrong address. I checked the app, I'd booked a ride to my ex’s place out of habit. FML
Today, my Uber driver tried to detour my trip home to take me on a date to Waffle House, even after I showed zero interest and talked about my boyfriend non-stop. FML
Today, we live in a society where an Uber Eats order arrives a lot faster than the authorities. To make things worse, the Uber Eats order arrives screwed up as well. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Lurker1 9
The Uber driver was hitting on you...
MissMizery 19
Sounds to me like he was asking you out tbh
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
There goes his 5-star rating! You can tell customers they’re fat and hope to get good ratings.
MissMizery 19
Sounds to me like he was asking you out tbh
bl3ur0z3 17
I never get the same guy twice and I was doing Uber and Uber Eats for a while when I had no car.
julfunky 29
When there aren’t many Uber drivers in your area getting a repeat one is normal.
BigSissy 14
Once I called to order a pizza and the kid on the phone said, “You guys sure order a lot of pizza!” I live alone.
Lurker1 9
The Uber driver was hitting on you...
DrSamba 7
I met my first wife that way. She delivered pizza to my dorm room.
alycion 39
During hockey season, mine waits in a car until a stop in play. I tend to order in a lot on the away stretches.
millsjoshua949 12
Maybe he was flirting.