Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Dirty talk
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
It's business time
Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML
Be careful what you wish for…
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Captain Jack
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML
Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML
Today, in an effort to spice up our love life, I greeted my husband at the front door in lingerie and stilettos. He took one look at me and asked if I wanted him to shovel the driveway before it snowed again. FML
Buzzing the tower
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Top comments
golden_warrior 23
Well, if you hand kinky sex afterwards then mission accomplished!
buckdharma 38
Well,did he salute you?
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Comments (122)
KrazyChica 3
u should be worn a thong and bikini top
msmclovin 4
How mean-_-
WhiteCrimson 23
If my girl had to jump into my Paramedic uniform i laugh too. Im about twice her size so she would drown in my jumpsuit. But i would do CPR on her without a doubt. Lol
PUCKSTOPPER1976 22
Did that kill the mood for you?
Kc1001 14
Keyword "Navy".
Faiths28 12
Disgracing our country much?
kaylabears98 3
You tried... I'm sorry.
drpeppergirl 7
This makes me sad!
ForbiddenDestiny 20
The correct response would have been; "Don't laugh at a superior officer soldier, now get on the bed, that's an order!" X
kha_428 6
A lot of got your damn panties in a twist. She was trying to do something sexy, not disgrace his uniform. It might be an insult to you, but it clearly wasn't to him. He probably just laughed cause she might be a small person and he very large and the shirt would swallow her. My husband was in the Army, and I've worn his camos before. I asked and he let me wear them for Halloween. I didn't have any of the patches on it or his awards, but people recognized it for what it was and thank me for serving. I just said thank you and kept going. I'm 5'2", and he's 6'2", the camos practically swam around me, but a uniform is a uniform and people are grateful and respectful. I even talked to some of our local police about wearing it, he said that if my husband had no problem with wearing them, then other peoples opinions shouldn't matter. They aren't my husband.