Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML
Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML
Today, in an effort to spice up our love life, I greeted my husband at the front door in lingerie and stilettos. He took one look at me and asked if I wanted him to shovel the driveway before it snowed again. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
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Top comments
golden_warrior 23
Well, if you hand kinky sex afterwards then mission accomplished!
buckdharma 38
Well,did he salute you?
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Comments (122)
greggly123 6
I would have thought that that was sexy as hell. And I would have thought it was such an awesome and spontaneous surprise to show me how much you love me and want me. Your husband must be a ****
shellyzcat 3
What part of your job is sexy to you? My husband is in the navy and would of done the same thing, take the easy road and try a maids costume.
PieknyCzlowiek 7
thats a good sign! men yhink that stuff is over the top cute and it will most deffinatly get him going.
marinewife519 12
Hey one good thing to laugh about, this Fml made it to a FB page called Overly Sensitive Military Wives
K3v1ntrs 5
He probably saw that a lot in the navy.
icepick23 12
Sounds like success! Get it, girl...
starsfan326 12
One of my ex girlfriends tried putting in my Navy dress whites one time I laughed too
AngrySailor 17
Pig of the port....
iambeccafran 4
Next time, just wear bacon. Every man stands at attention with the grand ole flag at full mast, if you just wear bacon.
Michele2luv 8
#23 This is probably my favorite comment ever lol :D