Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML
Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML
Today, in an effort to spice up our love life, I greeted my husband at the front door in lingerie and stilettos. He took one look at me and asked if I wanted him to shovel the driveway before it snowed again. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
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Top comments
golden_warrior 23
Well, if you hand kinky sex afterwards then mission accomplished!
buckdharma 38
Well,did he salute you?
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Comments (122)
DanqGirlxoxo 13
No seaman for you
perdix 31
#42, hats off to you! Great pun -- you didn't even need the sunglasses to lower!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Yeah well high heels + sailor outfit that was probably too large for you? I would have laughed too
gun6slinger9 9
The problem is your focusing on the things in life that don't really matter. When I was a kid I had hopes and dreams. We all did. But over time, the daily grind gets in the way and you miss the things that really matter, even though they are right in front of you, staring you in the face. I think the next time you should ask yourself "Am I on the right track here?". I don't mean to be rude but people like you I really pity. So maybe you could use the few brain cells you have and take advantage of the knowledge I have given you now. Good luck.
mrsstaken 12
Don't put on someone's military uniform! The majority of men in the military are not attracted to females in a military uniform. Damn dependents and tag chasers!
RedPillSucks 33
The high incidence of rape in the military suggests otherwise.
seacadet 18
How is that sexist? Military wives are not all dependas or tag chasers.. but a lot are.. If you didnt earn the uniform, you don't rate to ******* wear it!
DGED13 5
You have a point 75. But oh the grammar.
mrsstaken 12
How is it sexist? I never put on my husband service uniform! I wear my own and I earned the right to wear it! The only people who should put on a military issued piece of clothing is the service member!
mrsstaken 12
#65 men get raped too that has nothing to do with a uniform though
AngrySailor 17
Look at 75's username. He is everyone's bitch. Nothing more.
grayeyedmarine 14
finally someone else smart enough to understand if you didn't earn it you don't rate it
kha_428 6
For Halloween last year I wore my husband's camos. I asked and he was perfectly okay with it. I was thanked a lot for serving, even though the uniform was clearly way too big for me. People saw that it was an official set and said thank you.
roachyroo 5
Well I'm sure you looked laughable, it isnt an 80's romance movie.
NioBerry 7
seeing how hilarious it is for someone to wear a uniform Ill fitting I kinda have to agree nice thought next time just wear the blouse ( or jacket ) and heels
NioBerry 7
she wore the pants too and the cover ..... not just the blouse ...-.- just blouse and maybe cover sure that can come off sexy... but baggy pants meh even my husband makes fun of the baggyness
iwadasn 33
Try reading it again. "I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels." She wasn't wearing the uniform pants, just the jacket and the hat.
wildman1056 7
That sounds hot. Some of you people have no imagination.
NodakN8V 25
I have the same uniform. Not enough information yet can I get a visual image but so far so good.
babegirlprecious 12
All the way with #1:thardak Hahahah
RedPillSucks 33
I'm asuming gun6slinger9 first language is not english, or he was trying for near miss double entendre/puns???