Miscellaneous: Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab...

By Rohirus - 07/06/2012 23:09 - Sweden

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 537

You deserved it 2 554

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

What ARE you doing?

By mountains - 19/11/2012 00:47 - United States - Pembroke

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 033

You deserved it 1 818

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 20:00 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 004

You deserved it 3 024

Go home

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 10:00

Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 90

By huwauw - 17/09/2010 20:33 - United States

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 979

You deserved it 7 319

By squeltorey - 03/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Whittier

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 817

You deserved it 11 165

Kitchen Nightmare

By Pinsky - 30/07/2021 23:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, I walked in on my mom, my dad, Sarah, and Sarah's husband James making dinner in the kitchen. Completely naked. At 2 p.m. They weren't cooking anything to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 138

By :// - 05/11/2013 21:01 - United States - Romulus

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 750

You deserved it 3 744

By stellarshaun - 16/01/2009 22:10 - United States

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 260

You deserved it 10 896

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 164

Man's gotta have his biscuit

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 82

TheFamilyElf 17

Friday 8 June 2012 5:53

You know what they say. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. Just kidding, that's awkward as hell any way you slice it.

blondebrunette11 4

Friday 8 June 2012 5:51

Did he wink when he said "Son" ..?

Comments

Dojan 16

Friday 8 June 2012 18:45

You don't say "son" like that in Swedish, we don't use it like that.

HurpMcDerpington 0

Friday 8 June 2012 19:07

Just take off your clothes, get some cereal, sit across from him, and ask for the sports section.

jeansltp 7

Friday 8 June 2012 20:15

Shouldn't you be the one begging for a new pair of eyes?

IronCOG117SR 4

Friday 8 June 2012 20:34

My dad normally walks about in the nude, so I'm kind of desensitized.

abbymiguel 2

Saturday 9 June 2012 0:26

It would have been awkward if it was a daughter.

PandaSpots 10

Saturday 9 June 2012 0:58

Technically, you're gonna need a new brain. Your eyes do not record any if your memories. I recommend finding a well suited doctor that can give you a brain transplant- though I bet they don't have these- or going to the white house to find a time machine which will then bring you to the future where you can easily erase that one memory. Good Luck!!