Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML
Today, I had a horrible day at work, came home early and burst into tears as soon as I was in the door. I curled up on the sofa, still bawling, and my cat came over and jumped up for a cuddle. I gave her a hug and she threw up down my back. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Llama_Face89 34
Make the pansy get you a drink, then clean it up.
SteveTheJanitor 6
Tell him to man up and clean it up himself.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
Kokara1352 2
It's either the greatest ******* comforter ever or he's unnaturally lazy
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow...he's too much of a pussy (pardon the pun) to clean it up himself, so he calls you home from work. Tell him to get off his pathetic butt and get a job so you don't have to support him. Also, you should have asked what exactly the emergency was before driving home for half an hour.
xxlexayxx 0
did it stain?
sequins 1
well he couldve been worried the cat was really sick- which would be an emergency
ohmandapants 17
Your last personal day of the month!? It's October 4th!
pancakechick 8
So you couldn't ask him what the emergency was -before- driving all the way home ?
wriptidez 0
yum
insidejokeswithm 0
I actually submitted an FML like this a few days ago about my girlfriend and a spider at our house forcing me to leave and then this one gets published? You people are screwed up.
Tea2 0
Last personal day of the month?? It's only the 4th
pongdadong 6
Now imagine if you had a child with this moron who doesn't even know what to do when a cat vomits.