Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
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Top comments
anniebananie 3
That's okay! What happens at a bachelor(ette) party, stays at the bachelor(ette) party. It would be completely evil for your friends to ever mention it to anyone.
_THE_MASTER_ 0
look, I'm not saying YDI for being drunk, I'm saying YDI for not anticipating that you'd do something like that at your bachelorette party. and come one, it's not that bad. it's not like you ****** the guy. the photos are just something you'll look back on one day and laugh hysterically at.
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Comments (144)
DasHaas 9
You know what you're getting into when you have too much alcohol, you still choose to drink, live with the consequences, don't act like a child. Either don't whine, or don't drink so much.
ciaobella_fml 0
Shows you were having a good time. This isn't a FML.
GriefBacon 0
Good memories for you, then.
firenighthawk 3
well that's marrage is going to hell right away. YDI for being a tramp
305alive 0
you are a *****. go slurp feces from a nintey year old black woman Aka scariest thing on earth
Dynoblaze 1
don't be too worried. there's most likely pictures of your fiancé getting a ******* from a stripper. he can't call you out on this.
kewlfox 0
You can't assume that... so that is completely unfair.
Intoxicunt 6
Um, getting wasted and being crazy is the point. It's a bachelorette party, not a boring spinster party. Side note: Was the stripper Plexico?
plexico 4
No, my specialty is doing my solo act at closing time. I call myself the "headline act," but the reality is that I clear out the room faster than a fire alarm. That is, among the normal clientele. I do have a lunatic fringe following that likes the informal after-hours show. ;)
musiclife_fml 0
Come on, surely you know better than to tease us with "there're pictures" (to use correct grammar) and not provide a link.
Eli0 0
THERE'RE IS NOT A WORD, IT'S THEY'RE
hermitknut 22
They're = they are. There're = there are. No, it's not a word, it's a contraction, and it definitely wouldn't be considered correct in formal writing but it is how some people say it. In the context of the fml, there're is at least better than there's.
were_giraffe 2
The phrase "Useless without pics" comes to mind =)