Love: Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would...

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 788

You deserved it 11 490

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Jump scare

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 083

You deserved it 14 048

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 321

You deserved it 30 254

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 944

You deserved it 6 025

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 922

You deserved it 58 090

By litterbox_girl - 19/08/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 71 180

Boo!

By nenette - 12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 759

You deserved it 3 584

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 137

You deserved it 47 982

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 462

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 776

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 961

You deserved it 23 237

Iamnotmyself 17

Friday 22 July 2011 2:26

Look's like he scared you pissless.

KattAlex 4

Friday 22 July 2011 2:27

I can't stop laughing at the picture that this put in my head.

Comments

lalalara 4

Saturday 23 July 2011 0:34

i bet u were pissed off.

jadane_fml 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 1:27

did it piss you off?

darknova131 4

Saturday 23 July 2011 1:56

wow my BFTFFB just watched that with her boyfriend last night lol :P

oakland43 6

Saturday 23 July 2011 2:39

LMFAO!!!!

IcanOnlyDream 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 3:05

that was a good movie JS c:

nikki0627 5

Saturday 23 July 2011 3:16

its hard to stop laughing after imagining the picture this painted in my head xD

koolaidsweetie 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 3:53

insidious. isn't. scary.

SamanthaTorre13 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 4:06

HAHA.

kathryn_21 5

Saturday 23 July 2011 5:03

Hope you made him clean up the floor.

marlene_perry 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 7:30

i just watched that movie! im kinda afraid to go to sleep now...

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Painful Kids Awkward Miscellaneous Cops Money Insomnia Doctor Family Parents Work Annoying Food Friends Love Relatable AITA LGBTQIA+ Embarrassing First Dates Cheating Frustration Religion School Porn Transportation Cars Intimacy Sex

The Top

Today, our daughter brought home a stray dog without permission. When my husband came home we took it to a shelter, who sent us to another shelter half an hour out of our way. Then their ADHD asses both wanted coffee at 6pm. By the time we got home, my dinner, and only my dinner, was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 237

Today, I found out that my wife has been getting rid of every single item of clothing I didn’t compliment her on. This has probably cost me thousands already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 433

Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 1 392

Today, I went on a hike with friends, but as I'm the worst outdoorsperson because I rarely venture outside of the city, I ended up getting lost in some woods after straying from our group. I ended up having to call 911 to be rescued. My friends will absolutely not let me live this ordeal down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 859

Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 208

You deserved it 9 396

Today, I slipped and gashed my head bad enough that my head had to be shaved to be sewn up. Right after it had finished growing back from chemotherapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 104

You deserved it 138