Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
Today. I was sitting up having coffee early in the morning, still half-asleep. My dad walked in, getting ready for work. He asked if that was my water sitting there. He thought it must've be his, so he took a big gulp. OMG, I'd forgotten I'd poured a glass of pure white vinegar last night. His face was absolutely hilarious. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. needing a drink. Not only did my cat wake everyone up when I tripped over him, but I also spilled a whole gallon of milk on myself. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
Who drinks from the carton that's just disgusting.
Bluekaren16 19
A carton of milk isn't that heavy.
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Comments (141)
Warden1986 16
" I pick things up, and put them down." Thats what you should of said to your dad... Then maybe he would of understood....or not
deloria_fml 22
People who drink straight from the milk carton are disgusting and inconsiderate. Total YDI.
Grimmerie 31
The **** did I just read?
TheBedMonster 5
Well one I drink from the carton cause then my mom won't touch my juice and two don't feel bad or embarrass OP I always dump some sort of drink on me
sophie22_fml 8
Well good job! Now you drink your juice that is probably fermented with your saliva, that's disgusting.
Dricha19 4
Haha sounds like when I spilt cream colored paint down the front of me before...
tne201992 12
Oh stfu to the people who are complaining about him drinking the milk from the carton!! I bet a lot of you have..
sleet7 4
Underestimated
jjmiller1001 17
You are truly an idiot!
TheGreasyHobo 2
Gigitty
larouche362 10
Haha my dad would be wtf! Clean up this mess or your grounded.