Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Today, after a very poor night's sleep, I've had to stay awake and do housework while my husband, who slept like a baby last night, keeps on sleeping because he "didn't sleep well." He was snoring all night long, the reason I didn't sleep well. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
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Top comments
theatregurl 0
when I first read this I read it as "tried to sleep with my husbands" it took me a while to realize she was talking about 1 person... I think this is exactly the reason apostrophies were invented
AfterCloudia 4
Wow seriously? Just because he accidentally hit her in the face? Real shallow if you ask me =/ there are worst things in a marriage than accidentally getting elbowed in the face.
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Comments (57)
InsaneGenius 0
My husband is a snorer also. It's so loud that sometimes it actually sounds like a chainsaw! I used to never get any sleep, but I realized I could make him roll over on his left side and it stops, until he rolls on his back again.
InsaneGenius 0
Oops, that wasn't finished! i roll him over without him even waking up. I just gently push him and tell him to roll over. I don't know if this works, but I read that a snorer should take a sip of mineral oil before going to bed to help prevent snoring. It lubes up the passageway.
Asario 0
he wanted to make himself feel good about hos tiny penis by sticking his gargantuan elbow in your mouth. SUCK THAT BITCH!
SkateElement44 0
She deserved it? Why was she sleeping and not making him a sandwich? Unless they moved the bed into the kitchen...
sexycountrygirl0 0
my bf does that to me every night. fml
Yankeebby69 0
30- i surely do hope you're kidding.
HappyCynic 0
30- lmao XD
MsKittyKatWeber 10
Welcome to the club! My man does that too.
raineyrain 0
my husband snores at times and rolls over me. I have to push him off of me. I get so frustrated cuz its a nightly thing, sleep, get pushed or bumped into, then full on roll over. i know how you feel
romano07 0
30- No, he's completely serious. Never joke about a sandwich.