Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Today, after a very poor night's sleep, I've had to stay awake and do housework while my husband, who slept like a baby last night, keeps on sleeping because he "didn't sleep well." He was snoring all night long, the reason I didn't sleep well. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
theatregurl 0
when I first read this I read it as "tried to sleep with my husbands" it took me a while to realize she was talking about 1 person... I think this is exactly the reason apostrophies were invented
AfterCloudia 4
Wow seriously? Just because he accidentally hit her in the face? Real shallow if you ask me =/ there are worst things in a marriage than accidentally getting elbowed in the face.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (57)
Donniehw 5
next time he does it punch him in the nuts and act like your asleep for when he wakes up shouting.... he won't do it again... I know I wouldn't ....
kittea86 0
omg me too. i just shove earplugs as far in my ear as i can. wld rather sleep and dea w ear infections every few mnths than the other way around
K00K00 4
if it makes ya feel better i have the EXACT same problem with my husband. I bought earplugs and started fighting back! he is so deep in sleep he doesnt even realize when i kick or punch back!
lololzz123 0
Lol
kellee_k 1
This happens to me on a weekly basis. The joys of being married. Sorry, deal with it!
Arcadiaaa 12
Aaah, marriage.
that90sgurl 17
May I suggest earplugs and a California king?