Money and Transportation: Today, after rushing to the bus stop and frantically boarding...

By priceycommute - 19/08/2017 04:33

Today, after rushing to the bus stop and frantically boarding at the last possible second, I realized that I didn't pay my fare with a single, but a twenty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 555

You deserved it 1 005

Money Transportation

Dementia or hate? You decide

Classic switcheroo

Are you experienced?

By bull-stuff - 18/01/2013 03:48 - United States - Columbia

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 400

You deserved it 2 492

By bluehairedfreakgirl - 01/06/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 438

You deserved it 38 671

By WhatTheBleep - 09/04/2011 04:02 - United States

Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 360

You deserved it 3 522

By Anonymous - 06/12/2015 09:58 - United States - Asheville

Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 210

You deserved it 2 192

By Stupidhuman - 13/04/2017 13:02 - United States - Sparta

Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 486

You deserved it 2 148

By KL - 05/06/2009 19:46 - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 378

You deserved it 4 989

By DrunkPeopleSuck - 19/07/2019 16:00

Today, a customer at the bar I work at yelled at me for calling her "Ma'am." I asked what she'd prefer, and she gave me her name. When I called her by her name, she yelled at me for not calling her "Ma'am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 19:48 - United States

Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 630

You deserved it 2 649

By Anonymous - 13/11/2014 22:20 - United States

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 891

You deserved it 3 719

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 620

You deserved it 26 525

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 23:50 - Brazil

Today, I had a going-away party because I am leaving the country forever. Out of the 130 people invited, 60 were a resounding "Yes! of course I will go!". After paying $300 for everything needed at the party, 2 ended up coming. And left because nobody else was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 047

You deserved it 5 733

Fragile

By Ouch - 18/01/2021 08:02

Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 92

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 16:46 - United States

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 578

You deserved it 9 918

Big baby man

By HSPARKS - 12/05/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up to my apartment in a state of total disarray. I've been asking my boyfriend to get either get a job, or clean the house. I just had a bunch of dental work taken care of. He doesn't have a job, and doesn't want to find one. I'm tired of trying to raise an already grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 921

By AdriBAMF - 17/10/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 223

You deserved it 7 750

By hitlerfish - 14/03/2017 22:00

Today, while meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, the first comment I received was, "Well, at least this one is white." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 909

You deserved it 437

And I oop

By easygoing765 - 06/06/2021 11:01

Today, I found out the girl I hit on at the store I work at is my second cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 216

By Greg - 11/02/2013 04:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 518

You deserved it 2 531

By Craptastic - 15/09/2018 15:00

Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 759

You deserved it 622

By firedofbirthday - 14/02/2010 00:29 - France

Today, I was fired. Why? Because I called in sick on my daughter's birthday, even though you cannot "abandon work for personal affairs". My boss's favorite employee got to skip work on his wife's birthday two weeks ago. He still works here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 175

You deserved it 6 903

By Academia - 18/08/2011 08:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 640

You deserved it 2 974

By peopleinthepark - 30/05/2009 14:46 - United States

Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 879

You deserved it 13 411

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 02:16 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, my now ex-boyfriend accused me of wanting to screw his 11-year-old brother, all because I expressed interest in going to his birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 058

You deserved it 1 635

By Shaving it off - 23/12/2018 00:00

Today, when I showed someone my 9-year old passport, she commented, “you look so different! Now you have that Jason Statham thing going on!” My hair goes down to my shoulders; this confirms my receding hairline is real and it’s time to come to grips. At least I’m over 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 867

You deserved it 370

By oopsydaddy - 14/08/2018 06:00

Today, my dad asked my help with a computer problem. Whenever he logged on Facebook, every single advertisement appeared to be hardcore porn. I had to awkwardly explain that these ads are based on his browsing habits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 704

You deserved it 162

By nerdwithagun - 24/12/2010 07:15 - United States

Today, my dad had a go at me because he thought I was embarrassed by him and that was why I never invited any of my friends over. I was too embarrassed to tell him it's actually because I don't have any friends to invite over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 692

You deserved it 3 802

By Awkward - 14/04/2016 00:29 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I was caller number nine on the radio, meaning I technically won the contest. I was too awkward, so they hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 706

You deserved it 4 616

By Username - 06/06/2011 03:29 - United States

Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 619

You deserved it 4 089

By deathstar3548 - 22/09/2014 10:58 - United States - Orlando

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 744

You deserved it 3 446

By still learning - 26/02/2012 17:42 - Canada

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 964

You deserved it 7 918

By mario - 02/03/2019 19:00 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my roommate ran out of filter tips so he cut up my chemistry note cards for his joints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 193

By sister sister - 25/11/2013 17:38 - United States - Rhinebeck

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 756

You deserved it 19 270

By WhyM3¿?¿ - 31/03/2019 04:00

Today and so far not a good year. I'm still taking care of my mom who is sick from cancer and I seem to be the only one to help her (I'm the youngest btw). I pay the bills, clean, cook, work, bathe and feed my mother I'm exhausted I'm only 18... But it's not that my sis called me SELFISH Today...FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 653

You deserved it 154

By Bro - 25/03/2019 12:00

Today, I found out that my wife of five years is also my half-sister. She has no idea, I don't know how to tell her, and I've never been more turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 460

You deserved it 755

By Anonymous - 19/01/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 801

You deserved it 52 479

Misogynistic and insensitive. Great.

By Anonymous - 23/06/2018 14:30 - United States - Huron

Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom passed away when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered, "Women drivers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 841

You deserved it 421

By sicufovoshxbsjdk - 07/08/2010 02:22 - United States

Today, my grandma bought me a cemetery plot for my birthday. If that's not weird enough, it's about a 2 mile walk from where the rest of my family will be buried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 226

You deserved it 2 598

Or does he?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 00:30

Today, I read a message from someone on Instagram asking if I wanted to "hook up with a nice guy sometime." It was my uncle – he doesn't recognize his own family before messaging them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 47

By charlieweaver21 - 21/01/2010 22:02 - France

Today, I agreed to meet my ex-girlfriend at our favorite restaurant with my hopes high. She just wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 011

You deserved it 6 118

By Anonymous - 01/09/2017 20:00

Today, I put a magnet on my brand new car. I got rear-ended by someone who was trying to read it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 122

You deserved it 838

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Little Richard 11

Send a private message

Saturday 19 August 2017 6:31

Hopefully it was at least the right bus.

Tony Friddle 11

Saturday 19 August 2017 4:47

sure hope that ride was worth it

Comments

Tony Friddle 11

Saturday 19 August 2017 4:47

sure hope that ride was worth it

acmariner99 25

Send a private message

Saturday 19 August 2017 4:50

Just ride along all day?

Little Richard 11

Send a private message

Saturday 19 August 2017 6:31

Hopefully it was at least the right bus.

Lemou_fml 25

Send a private message

Saturday 19 August 2017 12:20

Why don't you guys have contactless buscards?

revolvearoundme 15

Send a private message

Saturday 19 August 2017 16:29

Because on our buses it's no change given. There are bus passes and things but if you don't take them often you don't get them.

Lemou_fml 25

Send a private message

Saturday 19 August 2017 16:30

Your respons is irrelevant to my question.

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Saturday 19 August 2017 14:11

What a generous tipper you are! Or you’re trying to get the driver to give you a handjob during the ride.

Regulate 21

Send a private message

Sunday 20 August 2017 1:26

Shame the bus driver was a bellend. As a fellow professional driver I don't find bus drivers all that agreeable from personal experience. so sadly, I'm not surprised :(

chance85 5

Send a private message

Sunday 20 August 2017 2:03

As a fellow professional operator. Many times you don't see it until it's too late. Farebox as a hold of it and it's instantly gone. You should know this being a " professional "