Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML
Today, a couple of packages were stolen from our apartment doorstep shortly after being delivered. A little while later, the thief brought the torn packaging back and left them at the bottom of our stairs. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ajpopoca88 3
nows a good time to find somewhere else to live. before something dangerous happens
PlaidPanda 9
Did you do ANY kind of research/asking around before moving on?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
mwolverine 1
Looks like you should consider a safer town...
sicnesses 6
Probably should have actually looked into the neighborhood status before buying the place.. That sounds horrible
BlackListed21 3
That's what happens when you live in low income housing
skullcandifiedDJ 5
What friendly neighbors... QUICK! Put up the electric fences, install security cameras and arm yourself with crazy crackheads repellent SPRAY
YourBuddyElmo 5
A.k.a offer them a job every time they come near your house...should send them running.
Pelreskovich 11
Do some research before moving! It's your own fault whether you had to move to a new place quickly or not, and I'm assuming your laundry was stolen because you left it unattended. As for your door.. The only logical thing to do is to paint everyone else's doors with "scrotum licker" since you have no idea who painted yours.
Doxy 22
But then if everyone's doors except his were painted with "scrotum licker" it won't take a genius to figure out who did it. And who knows what is going to be thrown at him this time.
Pelreskovich 11
It's a joke, obviously.
Schizomaniac 24
Wasn't so obvious, 39. How was he supposed to know? You seem like the kind of person who enjoys vandalizing things, throwing up gang signs in your picture and all. Damn hooligan.
thegr8tdbate 4
49 that's not a gang sign. Also it wasn't an obvious joke but it was easy to tell it is a joke since most comments on fml are usually sarcastic or joking. Only every now and then do you find people on here who forget that we come to have fun on here and take things too seriously. I would throw things through everyone's window instead. Since his is already broken he gets revenge and it blends in. Haha!
peachesncreem 21
OMG. #39 and I must be in the same gang! I too, throw that sign up when posing for pictures :)
thew_fml 14
can't licker makes no sense
1happymummy 14
Cu*t licker.
skullcandifiedDJ 5
You're post makes no sense...
thew_fml 14
cult licker?
BronyVasNormandy 12
Maybe if you weren't eleven years old, it would.
immaMonsta 8
#26 And YOUR post doesn't make any sense either, grammatically.
julialinn 2
Try saving up for a nicer neighborhood?
cyK0tek 0
I don't see how cu nt licker is supposed to be an insult lol
DocBastard 40
Perhaps because it is PAINTED ON THEIR DOOR. But maybe I'm just reading it too literally.
cyK0tek 0
*LE SHOCK AND AWE* :0
Rocky007 15
I'm guessing they are lesbians. Thus the hate.
rabbittboi 18
Or they live in an all male gay neighborhood and are 3 days older than the average angry little club twink...
kportal69 5
What do you not research the area before you move?? Tip for next time I suggest you do that.
fistnazal 10
Peanut butter and crack sandwiches... Mm mmmmm : )
fistnazal 10
Well look at that. I dont know how i ended up here. I have fallen victim to the comment gods. Thumbs doooown..... GO!