Miscellaneous: Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items... - FML

By Anonymous - United States - Eureka

Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

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Rock, hard place

Not my sunnies!

Bit on the side

By fireenginemad - United States - Vancouver

Today, my roommate found an eviction notice on our door for unpaid rent. Our apartment building caught fire and we haven't been living there for well over a month because it was legally unlivable. Today was our first day back. FML

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By DogDoingScience - Czech Republic

Today, I ran into my father. He was drunk and singing in the street. At 1:25pm. FML

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By Leah - United States

Today, my boss gave me a speech about my "motivation issues". I've been working for him for 2 months, the commissions I've made for him paid off his bills, so what are my motivation issues? I turned down his offer of a date. I have a boyfriend. He keeps asking. FML

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By Tony

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

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By What does this button do? - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my new apprentice took, "What does this button do?" to a new level when he pushed an emergency, "Stop all" button, causing my firm to miss multiple deadlines, causing massive losses In profits. FML

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By kimbo - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML

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By tayluh26 - United States

Today, I found out that my fiancé's parents are refusing to pay for a honeymoon because "they didn't have one so neither will we", so they won't pay for a single thing for our wedding. FML

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By tirf

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

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By swallowsafly

Today, Facebook sent me a new friend suggestion. I opened it only to see that the person suggested was the home wrecker that broke up my marriage 4 years ago. Her cover picture is her and my ex together, along with a group of people that I used to be friends with. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I canceled my Gamefly account. Seems that was the only thing keeping us together. FML

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By trbaby - United States - El Cajon

Today, I was at a house-warming party and my friend was in her kitchen making drinks. When I was almost done with my drink, I went to take the last gulp and saw three mouse turds stuck to the inside bottom of the glass. FML

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By nicegirl08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

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By in love with a nerd - United States

Lrn 2 Read

Today, my boyfriend refuses to talk to me because of a misread text. FML

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By nakcba

Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

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By Van

Work name

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Hialeah

Today, my friend was complaining about about her new boyfriend. Playing around, I told her that he sounded a lot like my ex. He is. FML

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By babylove - South Africa

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

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By sharkgirl4 - United States - Rialto

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

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By jamblasticus - United States

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my best friend had 3 birthday parties for herself over the weekend. I wasn't invited to any of them. When I asked her why, she said I "didn't fit in" to any of the groups that were at the parties. All my other friends were invited. FML

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By Barstaff - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I have to work Christmas Day. There's no public transport running and taxis are triple fare. It'll cost me more getting to work than I'll actually earn during the shift. FML

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By SwimmingInFear - United States - Havertown

Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML

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By ehcanadianeh - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found $20 under my car seat, so I put it in the cup holder, only for it to fly out of the window while going down the highway. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, 50,000 copies of the new edition of the town's phone book came out. I manage a pizza place and bought a full menu ad. Apparently the ad designer got confused, as they placed my cell phone number in huge bold letters at the bottom of the ad instead of the store's phone number. FML

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By Sleeeeeep - France

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

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By Kylie - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

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By Human fly - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

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By hgirl - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - New Castle

Today, a student turned in homework she copied off an online answer key. The wrong key. My students are too stupid to cheat right. FML

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By workaholic - United States

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

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By Lady of Sorrows - United States

Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML

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By kaichennnxx - United States

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

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By SamAaron502 - United States - Saint Peters

Today, I woke up at 3a.m. to get ready for a "fun work retreat". After driving 2 hours to the site, I find that nobody is there. After about half an hour standing there freezing, I get an email from my boss, telling me that "It's canceled due to bad weather". FML

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By Hairytoes - United States

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

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By elovan - United States - Des Moines

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML

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By ananomus - United States

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

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Top comments

By Passerbyer | 10

#6165427 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:10

So sorry, some people have a way of trying to ruin things. ...but no one can take away the amazing gesture your best friend has done for you. :-)

By katcherjoons | 3

#6165506 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 8:23

If it was cherished perhaps you should have moved it in first, or left it in a more secure location than the sidewalk until you were ready for it.

COMMENTS

By tehman117 | 21

#6165425 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:08

if its a complex then shouldnt it have cameras?

Reply

llalala_fml | 19

#6165438 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:15

What kinda complexes are you living in ?

Reply

xwingtwo | 15

#6165441 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:16

Ones with cameras?

Reply

hunteredmundson | 17

#6165705 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 13:39

Most complexes have security cameras

Reply

llalala_fml | 19

#6165725 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 14:05

Not really.

Reply

maxxwell8 | 13

#6165894 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 18:27

mine doesn't.......………

By revan546 | 24

#6165426 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:08

Just get some duct tape it'll fix it right up

Reply

nchic01 | 17

#6165440 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:16

You could actually sew it up. If it was just kicked all the pieces should still be attached. That would actually be quite beautiful. Coming from an artistically inclined person here.

Reply

year2015 | 11

#6166166 - Thursday 8 January 2015 0:08

actually if theres a hole in the middle and no peices fell of OP could put duct tape on the back where its not visible

By Passerbyer | 10

#6165427 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:10

So sorry, some people have a way of trying to ruin things. ...but no one can take away the amazing gesture your best friend has done for you. :-)

By keithsbooty | 20

#6165429 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:10

I'm sorry OP. Hope you'll find out who did it and you two can come to some kind of solution. Though emotional damage can't really be undone.

By Jurassicass | 9

#6165431 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:11

Sorry OP! I hope someone witnessed it and I hope it can be fixed somehow!

By Jdlove2 | 20

#6165432 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:12

They like to Picasso on the newbies.... Huh? No? Ok.

Reply

jerryj | 27

#6165437 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:14

No indeed.

By Ilikepie82479 | 20

#6165433 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:12

Well, have fun with that

By 19990231 | 29

#6165444 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:18

Find them, and kick a hole in their head. You're the new person on the block and can make a reputation for yourself.

By anthonyksee | 11

#6165446 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:20

At least it wasnt the mona lisa

By dude_itskayley | 17

#6165452 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:23

Sorry to hear about that! I don't inserts and why some people just go out of their way to be disrespectful. But regardless, the painting was a nice gift from your friend! :)

Reply

Exodiafinder687 | 58

#6165484 - Wednesday 7 January 2015 7:51

Your comment confused me so much at first. Was "inserts and" supposed to be "understand?"