Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML
Suburbia
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML
The nerve!
Today, a couple of packages were stolen from our apartment doorstep shortly after being delivered. A little while later, the thief brought the torn packaging back and left them at the bottom of our stairs. FML
Give it back
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Redesign
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Open invitation
Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
Top comments
ajpopoca88 3
nows a good time to find somewhere else to live. before something dangerous happens
PlaidPanda 9
Did you do ANY kind of research/asking around before moving on?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
hateevryone 15
where the hell do you live? and why'd you move there?
husky22 0
sounds like u picked an apartment in an extremely sketchy area
Bigboned38 0
Your rent is probally dirt cheap? You get what you pay for
KatieKupcake4195 9
O_O Where on God's earth are you living OP? That place sounds terrible. I suggest moving to a nicer place if you can. If you can't, maybe move in with some relatives just for now
kkillaj 5
Doesent sound so bad just smoke sum herb and keep licking ****
chels1994 11
....get out now
sweetpea41800 0
I think you just might wanna think about moving to a safer neighborhood .......just a suggestion
Joey01616 0
The guy who posted that on your door...was a virgin.
buddyguyfriend 1
Sounds like a steal! Where u located?
KiddNYC1O 22
The boondocks.