Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML
Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML
Today, I just spent half an hour cleaning up my little brother's puke after he got drunk for the first time. All the people who bought him drinks are still out partying and having a good time, while all I can smell is whiskey, Chinese food, and whatever else was in his stomach. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
yeongji 31
I do not drink at all so when things start to get out of hand (believe me, a restaurant once told us they have never sold so much alcohol in a day until we held our party there and lets just say there was vomit everywhere along with a broken table), I take off. This might make me sound like a bad person, but it does not since management hands out taxi chits to those who are incapable of driving home themselves.
54754N4 14
Been there =/ You should start looking for better company. And I don't mean non-drinkers, just obviously not the binge drinking ones that can't seem to hold their liquor.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (20)
wyreleford 2
I would not have. Call a clean up service or leave them in their own vomit.
SilentSin 23
You did the right thing
Suicidalbetty 0
I get the driving everyone home for safety. But cleaning up their vomit? Hard no.
yeongji 31
I do not drink at all so when things start to get out of hand (believe me, a restaurant once told us they have never sold so much alcohol in a day until we held our party there and lets just say there was vomit everywhere along with a broken table), I take off. This might make me sound like a bad person, but it does not since management hands out taxi chits to those who are incapable of driving home themselves.