Work: Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new...

By TacoMan32 - 06/12/2016 04:26 - Canada

Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new job. The building burnt down on my very first shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 170

You deserved it 632

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Same thing different taste

Bye Bye

By Anonymous - 29/12/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom - South Shields

Today, it was my two-week anniversary of starting my new job, after over a year of unemployment due to Covid. It was great, I was getting on with people, and it actually felt like a career where my skillset was valued and I was appreciated by the management. I showed up to work this morning to find it had burned down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 13/12/2010 04:19 - New Zealand

Today, after months of job searching I got a job interview. I also later got a phone call from the manager informing me they burned down, and all current employees will be relocated or dismissed, and that my interview, scheduled for tomorrow, is postponed indefinitely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 733

You deserved it 2 257

By Tey - 22/12/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 910

You deserved it 17 843

By perpetuallyscrewed - 06/10/2009 04:06

Today, after nearly eight months of unemployment, I started a great new job. After seven and a half hours of work, my new boss comes up to tell me what a great job I was doing, but that he somehow forgot to clear the new hire with the company owner, so I'm fired. Hello, unemployment... again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 880

You deserved it 2 186

By Anonymous - 18/06/2016 03:22 - United States - Detroit

Today, I finally started my first job. I also lost it, for being too "enthusiastic" and making my fellow employees look lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 103

You deserved it 959

By tjm - 23/12/2010 06:05 - United States

Today, after finally getting a job offer after months of unemployment, I found out that the person who was going to hire me got fired. Which means I'm not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 687

You deserved it 2 246

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 441

By Jbheller - 03/05/2015 00:08 - United States - Mountain Top

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 354

You deserved it 3 121

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 25/10/2019 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, it was my first day of work at my new job. I got dressed and arrived early, only to find out that the store had closed due to a power outage. Then I found out that the person who'd hired me had totally forgotten about hiring me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 927

You deserved it 115

By jobless - 06/11/2014 02:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, for the first time since I can remember, I went in to work feeling positive, and that I could make good things happen. At the end of the day, my employment was terminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 028

You deserved it 3 231

aj448 5

Saturday 10 December 2016 15:18

I guess you can say that your first day on the job was lit (I'll see myself out now...) But in all seriousness OP, that pretty much sucks for you...

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 10 December 2016 15:34

Plot twist: The OP's job for one day? Fireman. Oh, the irony!

Comments

WeirdUS 29

Saturday 10 December 2016 18:58

Too hot to handle too cold to hold don't worry OP the cream always rises to the top

mcruff 12

Saturday 10 December 2016 19:47

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE?!?!

pacman490 21

Saturday 10 December 2016 22:15

Somebody died in a car accident a few weeks after I started my current job. Nobody's talked to me about it and I haven't asked.

brenton490 19

Saturday 10 December 2016 23:19

So new job fireman? right ...right?

acmariner99 25

Sunday 11 December 2016 6:00

That's quite a burn

caliguy08 17

Sunday 11 December 2016 10:22

You have got to explain this

misanthropic_one 3

Sunday 11 December 2016 23:10

"The building was on fire and it wasn't my fault." Way to make real one of the best opening sentences for a novel ever.

paskievitchjack 23

Monday 12 December 2016 4:39

Did you see a squirrely looking man grumbling about his stapler?

gatorclay97 28

Monday 12 December 2016 15:55

Wow that's honestly

HEnRyEdwardsIII 15

Tuesday 13 December 2016 9:34

at least they will pay you unemployment.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 465

You deserved it 4 807

Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, I'm so broke that I had to call in sick to work because I couldn't afford to pay my bus fare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 428

You deserved it 5 244

Too relatable.

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 58

Today, my hotel room key wouldn't open my door. Maintenance had to come let me in. My giant dildo was out on the table. I'm a 250-pound man, traveling alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 1 371

Today, my boyfriend, who is also a coworker, proposed to me in the parking of the store we work at when it was dark out. He came up behind me, and, thinking it was some creep, I stabbed him with my car keys. The scar will alway help him remember our engagement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 164

Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 930

You deserved it 4 136

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 283

You deserved it 44 329

Same thing different taste

Bye Bye

Technically…

Unforgettable

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